PHATERTL

From the poster: I fully expected to a lot of "you deserved it" I just thought it was too funny not to share with the world. Yes, I was talking about petting an actual feline. No, I do not talk to myself while masturbating or have regular conversations with the cat. My neighbor's porch is a couple feet from my window and I can hear all of their conversations too. I am dating someone and have gotten laid recently. I think it is hilarious they put it in the "intimacy" section.

OP here and I find it really funny that the people without a frickin' sense of humour are calling *me* stupid. (Not to mention when said assholes appear to be illiterate...) Yes, I know it is probably going to eat it - seeing as next time I went in there the spider had gotten smart enough to stop and wrap up its dinner to make it easier to carry, lol. (Problem solving abilities now? hmmmmmm lol) And, let's see... I was obviously in college at one point, so I would hope some of you would realize that means I'm educated. Please learn to take a joke. I'm just happy I finally got an FML accepted. And, of all of them it was a joke about one spider carrying off a "wounded comrade". And I saw someone did allude to the fact I must have left the dead one as a warning to the others. Muahahahahaha. *AND* maaaaybe this was a carefully staged display on their part to turn the tables and send *ME* a warning that they won't be dealt with so easily - that there are always MORE. *shudders* Finally, the reason there are so many spiders? I live in the basement of this house out in rural North Georgia and this scene took place in the bathroom in the back corner of said basement. So... the spiders love it there.

Hi, OP here. I posted this before I had an account, and just found this again looking at random fmls. I live out in the country on a gravel road so there isn't much traffic, and my cat, (Indy for Indiana Jones), is very good with cars. Also, the cat shelter where he was raised allowed the cats outside through a cat door. At first he was an indoor cat, but he started marking different areas of the house. It stopped for a while after we started letting him outside. But then if we were asleep or about to go to bed, and refused to let him out, he started marking again. That's when we got him the cat door. There have been no problems since then. We can't just get rid of him. My autistic brother loves him very much, and is great with him. And Indy is VERY affectionate, at times acting more like a dog than a cat. (That's not an insult, Indy loves dogs.) A lot of times they sleep together with Indy at his feet, or sharing his pillow. Indy will also watch tv with my brother. They really are great for each other. As for bringing animals inside, he will kill them, and sometimes eat them, but a lot of times we notice he has something before he's hurt them. In which case we get the animal away from him, and hopefully outside. The mice sometimes run away before we have a chance to do anything. Also, once he dropped a completely unharmed sparrow in his food dish. Of course it flew all over the house before we finally got it out. I guess he thought it would stay in his food dish? Yeah, he's not always the smartest, but we love him. Oh, and the count for chipmunks, both completely unharmed, is now up to two. All told, he is one of the best pets I've ever had. I just wish he would get the mice out, not bring more in. PS the reason there are mice in the house, along with living in the country, is because the foundation for our house wasn't built properly. There was a twelve foot long area that only had styrofoam between the outside and the inside of the walls. Yeah, the guy who built our house is a moron. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for the fun comments.