SassyKisses

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About Sassykisses

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Sassykisses's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Night owl

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Censored

Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The list of badges to find

Sassykisses's favorite FMLs

Public announcement

By Pissed - 05/10/2011 15:29 - Australia

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 757

You deserved it 8 434

Bobs and vagene

By analeis - 25/03/2012 18:04 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 974

You deserved it 29 703

Terms and conditions

By albinoalligator - 04/07/2016 00:48 - United States - Elkton

Today, I declined an apartment because it didn't have a detachable shower head that I could use for my enjoyment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 406

You deserved it 20 277

By jenni6488 - 22/02/2012 07:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 513

You deserved it 23 319

By Anonyme - 22/10/2013 07:13 - France - Rouen

Today, I found a pad in my son’s underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 56

Whenever

By InstantHardOn - 08/11/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 605

You deserved it 8 168

By Disney - 18/02/2011 22:29 - United States

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 271

You deserved it 8 491

By whitecollar - 05/12/2012 02:43 - United Kingdom - Scarborough

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 046

You deserved it 33 458

Marking territory

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, while on a picnic with my boyfriend, he got a little drunk. All of a sudden, he got up, pulled his pants down and pissed all over me. His excuse? "Just marking my territory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 779

You deserved it 351

Adding insult to injury

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could retake a test. I thought I'd texted back, "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 017

You deserved it 26 653

Psycho

By Anonymous - 12/10/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 647

You deserved it 4 238

Painful party trick

By Anonymous - 15/09/2022 19:00

Today, I caught my idiot son with a pencil up his penis, because apparently he wanted to see if he could use it to write with as a party trick to impress girls. I demanded he take it out, which he did, but the rubber eraser stayed inside his penis. Now I’m spending my Sunday holding his hand in A&E. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 796

You deserved it 249

Cheeky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say, "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 108

You deserved it 3 223

Funny guy

By Anonymous - 09/09/2022 08:00 - United States - Lima

Today, my boyfriend and I were finishing in the bedroom; he pulled out and finished on my stomach. Then he figured that was the time to quote Shrek, saying, "Better out than in I always say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 378

Education these days…

By Nongrandma - 26/08/2022 06:00

Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 242

Caveman fetish

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 21:58

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 1 158

Peter and Pan

By dudeWTF - 03/07/2021 10:59 - United States

Today, after a great double date with my best friend and two really hot guys, we went back to my place. My friend and I left the guys in the living room to go grab some more wine. When we came back, we found our dates making out with each other on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 189

Sensitivity overload

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 16:00 - Australia

Today, I was diagnosed with hyperosmia, a strong sense of smell and extreme repulsion to certain scents. Unfortunately, one of my biggest aversions is the smell of my own vagina. Even the smallest hint makes me dry heave. I wish I could have it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 205

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 600

You deserved it 3 505

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Israel

Today, I went on a date with a woman. She brought along her stuffed rabbit, and introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 540

You deserved it 4 992