ArcticDead

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3759
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Ontario, Canada
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About Arcticdead

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Arcticdead - Followers

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Arcticdead's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

FAAAAAACEBOOK

Your FML account is now linked to your Facebook account.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It's in the can!

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

42

See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality comments

Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.

Censored

Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

The list of badges to find

Arcticdead's favorite FMLs

Sorry, but…

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 04:15 - United States

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 2 608

Liability

By Josh - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 744

You deserved it 5 970

By CathyM - 27/09/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 910

You deserved it 2 796

By Jeimaiku - 27/09/2011 17:40 - United States

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 200

You deserved it 2 776

Same thing

By fml - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 2 459

Territorial

By Anonymous - 27/09/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted, "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 383

You deserved it 4 118

By Foreverathome - 28/09/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 958

You deserved it 2 582

By Sabraynay - 28/09/2011 06:47

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 080

You deserved it 3 307

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 15:53 - United States

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 885

You deserved it 2 186

Thanks for the support

By Unluckiest Guy of the group - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 404

You deserved it 5 115

By Anonymous - 28/09/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 859

You deserved it 2 788

By AngrySon - 29/09/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 367

You deserved it 2 621

Foul mood

By AngerManagement - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 648

You deserved it 24 919

By Help. - 29/09/2011 17:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 3 189

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 988

You deserved it 3 206

By hellokitty133 - 30/09/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, the boys who sit at my math table decided it would be funny to throw broken pencils at my boobs to see if they were real. They did this the entire class period. I have to work with this group for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 026

You deserved it 3 730

By nearlythere - 30/09/2011 04:50 - Australia

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 444

You deserved it 2 949

Groundhog Day

By Steve - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - New Zealand

Today, I had a car accident. In the same place, at the same time, and with the same friend in the passenger seat as last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 11 932

By happymum - 30/09/2011 11:10 - Netherlands

Today, I lost my watch at the pool. After giving a detailed description of it at the desk, I was really happy to hear someone had found it and handed it in. Too bad I was too late, because someone had already claimed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 2 565

By Anonymous - 30/09/2011 12:52 - Australia

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 525

You deserved it 2 430