Akon_27

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Akon_27's FML badges

Consolation prize

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50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Akon_27's favorite FMLs

By notgoodenough38 - 27/12/2009 22:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 678

You deserved it 3 879

By EgoMoose - 28/12/2009 05:02 - United States

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 454

You deserved it 5 802

By Anonymous - 28/12/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, I got a call from a girl I fell madly in love with 8 years ago. She disappeared from my life with no trace. Turns out she just finalized her divorce, has 2 wild kids, packed on 75 lbs, has $25,000 in debt and is taking meds to keep from going crazy. Now she wants me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 270

You deserved it 3 613

Gene Simmons approves this FML

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was messing around with my boyfriend, trying to get him to tell me he loved me more than KISS, his favorite band. He couldn't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 492

You deserved it 12 221

By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 099

You deserved it 3 199

By dumbdad - 28/12/2009 07:30 - United States

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 3 481

By facepalm - 28/12/2009 10:35 - Singapore

Today, my husband was fired for chatting online for the third time in a month during office hours. Who was he chatting with? Me, telling him to get off the chat programme so he wouldn't lose his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 240

You deserved it 12 945

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 28/12/2009 12:08 - United States

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 465

You deserved it 5 527

By For - 28/12/2009 14:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband if he thought I was pretty. He replied "compared to what?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 678

You deserved it 7 007

By kawaiixalice - 28/12/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I needed to job shadow someone for my winter break career project. Not finding someone to take me along to their job, my mom suggested shadowing my dad. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, I went with him. All day I sat and helped him test human poop samples for parasites. Some was diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 974

You deserved it 4 120

By Spac3Ghost - 28/12/2009 17:08 - China

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 641

You deserved it 26 354

Taxi driver

By syco - 28/12/2009 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 314

You deserved it 7 411

By kenzieeeee - 30/12/2009 00:30 - United States

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 643

You deserved it 2 373

Complicated

By mylifeissad - 30/12/2009 02:10 - United States

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 37 974

Both ends

By sickofsick - 30/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 694

You deserved it 3 988

By lala456 - 30/12/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I had my noise-canceling headphones on and a girl sitting next to me raised her glass at me. I thought she meant "cheers". So I did a "cheers" with her. When I drank my juice, it was only then did I realize that she was trying to tell me the flight attendant had mixed up our drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 258

You deserved it 27 176

By bells - 30/12/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 039

You deserved it 28 628

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 2 621

By Leslie - 30/12/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 194

You deserved it 2 839

By Anonymous - 30/12/2009 07:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, I noticed that I had forgotten to shave my pits. I went to a party last night, and there are now several Facebook pictures of me dancing, with my arms up and my hairy pits showing for the world to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 698

You deserved it 39 352