Akon_27

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50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

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Akon_27's favorite FMLs

Thanks honey

By downer - 25/05/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid shit anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 333

You deserved it 58 770

Leave me out of this

By hahahah111 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 232

You deserved it 4 390

By jackelking - 25/05/2009 08:33 - United States

Today, I was at my friends' farm and we decided that we wanted to go to their old treehouse. When we got down there, it turned out my friend Cat had forgotten her shoes. Being a gentleman, I lent her my sandals. I then climbed the treehouse, fell out, and got a nail through my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 082

You deserved it 6 948

Make it stop

By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 310

You deserved it 5 530

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 705

You deserved it 54 475

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 299

You deserved it 9 280

Self report

By Anonymous - 25/05/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 079

You deserved it 5 540

By nadette - 25/05/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 735

You deserved it 3 986

By OrlandoZ6 - 25/05/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I was laying down on my couch. My friend IM's me on my laptop to watch a video. It turned out that the video was one of those scary pop up's. I got so scared I dropped my laptop. The screen had a big crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 551

You deserved it 10 676

Uncanny

By Weezylover - 26/05/2009 08:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, says "It's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 800

You deserved it 8 005

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 26/05/2009 09:18 - Greece

Today, I hired an exterminator to get the roaches out of the house I'm renting. I came back from work and went to my bathroom, noticing that he used the plunger to unclog the toilet after he took a dump. After $150, there was shit all over my floor and plunger, and roaches still in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 766

You deserved it 3 836

By Ash - 27/05/2009 03:08 - United States

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 506

You deserved it 88 681

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 067

You deserved it 17 374

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 342

You deserved it 68 793

By xpxp2002 - 27/05/2009 09:48 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I met this beautiful girl at a restaurant and we ended up having lunch together. Everything was going perfect until the end when I tried to get her number and she wouldn't give it to me. I can't even get a girl in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 606

You deserved it 6 624

By abc - 27/05/2009 10:15 - Pakistan

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 459

You deserved it 5 372

TMI again

By crazybiotch - 28/05/2009 18:09 - Canada

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 756

You deserved it 61 450

By thats_not_good - 28/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. 50 min into the tattoo on my back, the artist says "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 126

thats_not_good tells us more.

thats_not_good 0

Sunday 2 May 2010 5:10

The tattoo is on my shoulder blade, and it's a Celtic knot that I drew up myself. The artist was filling in the shading in the knot after finishing the outline when he started filling in an area on the wrong side of the line. He ended up fixing it so the design came out symmetrical, and it looks really good. No regrets and no worries.

By Princess - 28/05/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my cell phone service was interrupted because I owed the company 27 cents. It cost 36 dollars to reinstate my service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 154

You deserved it 11 271

By HappyBirthday - 28/05/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, it was my friend's birthday. She's been having problems with most of her friends besides me lately, so I wanted to do something special. I brought her a cake. Me and her were the only ones to have any. It gave us both food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 396

You deserved it 4 777