stlim93

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Melbourne, Australia
33 years-old
Saturday 30 January 1993
Single

About Stlim93

Not specified

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Work is a 4-letter word

Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.

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It's in the can!

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100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

50 quality comments

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One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find

Stlim93's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 16:08 - United States

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 964

You deserved it 2 053

AAARGH

By lanu - 13/03/2012 16:13 - United States

Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 217

You deserved it 2 592

By sad - 30/03/2012 22:21 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said, "Good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was, "Just wank it off and move on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 682

You deserved it 3 030

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 04:49 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I found a used condom in my trash can. I have been happily married to my wife for 7 years, and we use other forms of birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 244

You deserved it 2 963

Almost there

By Anonymous - 31/03/2012 12:35 - United States - Rohnert Park

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 572

You deserved it 23 528

By Bashit - 01/04/2012 01:00 - United States - Bullard

Today, I received a call from the company I applied to, only to have my father pick it up and make fun of the man's accent. They won't call me back or take any of my calls, and my dad is completely unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 579

You deserved it 2 090

Good job

By whatnow - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Carmel

Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 951

You deserved it 34 736

By BigBangCheater - 01/04/2012 10:08 - United States - Loves Park

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 5 070

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 762

You deserved it 26 557

We should do this again some time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I came home from work to find a burglar in my house. He then said that he was just leaving, and went back out of the broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 576

You deserved it 2 493

By Anonymous - 02/04/2012 16:17 - Canada

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 967

You deserved it 31 630

By DanteWest1000 - 03/04/2012 04:43 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was texting my girlfriend about cross dressing and I said, "It would be hard for me to conceal my weapon." She instantly replied, "Not really, it's like finding a needle in a haystack, you'll be alright." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 036

You deserved it 7 677

Racing stripes

By Wannabees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 505

You deserved it 38 247

By gottalovefriends - 23/04/2012 04:04 - United States - Atkinson

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 4 923

By sadmommy - 23/04/2012 22:51 - United States - Keller

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 579

You deserved it 6 210

By smh - 13/05/2012 22:30 - United States - Sacramento

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 264

You deserved it 36 408

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 05:26 - United States - Burbank

Today, I noticed the only time my husband stops snoring like a drunken horse is so that he can fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 367

You deserved it 2 468

Paperback Writer

By AmatureLitCritic - 14/05/2012 07:37 - United States - Portland

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 343

You deserved it 2 387

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 15/05/2012 14:13 - United States

Today, I found out my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited, so I asked her why. She replied, "What birthday party?" It was a surprise birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 404

You deserved it 31 261

By FML - 15/05/2012 19:02 - Finland

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 007

You deserved it 8 615