By gazza - 26/05/2012 20:41 - United Kingdom - Guildford
blakeford
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favorites
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Blakeford's favorite FMLs
You what?
By whattheheck - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg
Puppies > Babies
By madmomma - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Veneta
By N/A - 25/09/2012 04:13 - Canada - Edmonton
By snowbell18 - 25/09/2012 07:08 - United States
By supapimpin - 25/09/2012 15:09 - United States
By Jograd - 25/09/2012 17:13 - Australia - Sydney
No love lost
By burn in hell - 25/09/2012 21:28 - United Kingdom - Cambridge
By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 17:37 - Australia - Engadine
By red - 27/09/2012 11:37 - United States - Portland
Chill out, dude
By Anonymous - 27/09/2012 15:31 - Canada - Red Deer
By iNearlyHurled - 28/09/2012 08:24 - United States
Force of habit
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Apeldoorn
Creepy
By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada
Dumbass
By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States
By thatonegirl.SBS. - 29/09/2012 05:38 - United States - El Cajon
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 00:11 - United States - Castle Rock
No kinkshaming here
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge
You big fanny
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.