TheStoryOfUs

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Thestoryofus - Followers

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100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find

Thestoryofus's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 31/08/2010 16:32 - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 979

You deserved it 9 929

By Anonymous - 12/09/2010 16:56 - United States

Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 085

You deserved it 10 329

By stillyoung - 02/11/2010 06:50 - Australia

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 731

You deserved it 4 434

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 01:49 - United States

Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 162

You deserved it 3 985

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 07:42 - United States

Today, a group of carolers was coming up my street, so I went out in the cold to wait for them. When they finally arrived, I waved and greeted them. They huddled up discussing something while pointing at me, then skipped my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 304

You deserved it 4 928

Dream baby dream

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 22:28 - United Kingdom

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 059

You deserved it 3 468

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 552

You deserved it 3 226

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 08:34 - Lebanon

Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 906

You deserved it 5 688

By ugh - 19/01/2011 19:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend spent an hour lecturing me on how I need to ask for what I want. So I asked him to delete a crappy picture he'd taken of me the night before. His response: "No, you don't always get what you want." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 9 514

By inthecold - 19/02/2011 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 217

You deserved it 8 090

Three's a crowd

By Kimberlie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't let me move into his new apartment with him. It turns out his other girlfriend had already moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 107

You deserved it 4 975

By K.. - 07/05/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 889

You deserved it 3 734

Make it stop

By dee - 03/07/2011 05:36 - United States

Today, I sang a sweet lullaby to my two year-old son. In the process, he smacked me in the face and told me to please stop. My sister sings to him all the time and he loves it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 047

You deserved it 6 465

Denial

By blah - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 080

You deserved it 3 118

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 728

You deserved it 2 784

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 792

You deserved it 11 490

By ohmygosh - 21/07/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 653

You deserved it 48 698

By Anonymous - 21/07/2011 23:46 - Australia

Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 15 783

By MailMaster - 22/07/2011 04:20 - Australia

Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 356

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 23/07/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 82 862