nevergetsfirst

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Why would you wanna know?
28 years-old
Friday 28 August 1998
In a relationship

About Nevergetsfirst

I simply enjoy giggling at other peoples misfortunes

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Nevergetsfirst's favorite FMLs

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

By MadMax - 16/07/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 5 364

Congratulations

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, while talking on the phone with my long-distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected, he told me, "Well, you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 651

You deserved it 5 928

By Unluckyducky - 19/07/2009 10:11 - United States

Today, I received a letter in the mail stating that I had won a trip to Cancun, Mexico. It looked like a scam so I threw it away. I later found out that it was a birthday present from my cousin and the envelope also contained a check for 5 thousand dollars to help cover some expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 544

You deserved it 70 216

By good_job_john - 20/07/2009 15:43 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 444

You deserved it 4 303

Ill advised

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 08:16 - Australia

Today, my boss sent out an email with the subject line "Urgent". He accidentally left the body of the email blank. I replied to all staff "You're firing blanks Peter". I later heard that his wife once got drunk and told everyone that they couldn't have kids because he has a low sperm count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 607

You deserved it 11 624

By pisspantsjob - 31/07/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 766

You deserved it 49 336

Travelling light

By EmBAREassed - 31/07/2009 13:43 - United States

Today, I was walking around Walmart feeling pretty good about myself as I received numerous looks from guys in passing. All of a sudden a man approached me to tell me that my dress was extremely see-through. And, since I was wearing a thong, he and everyone else could totally see my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 519

You deserved it 60 371

By terpity12 - 07/08/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 414

You deserved it 24 397

By elmalo68 - 20/09/2009 01:22 - United States

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 3 222

By JazzyandAlice - 20/09/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 009

You deserved it 7 159

By devakii - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 267

You deserved it 2 309

Thanks, I hate it!

By HoShiz - 25/10/2009 14:18 - Canada

Today, I drove three hours to go to an awards ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove three hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 543

You deserved it 4 840

By unengaged - 14/11/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of six years broke up with me for a girl he's known for less than 72 hours. Why? He wanted someone pure. I lost my virginity to him five years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 373

You deserved it 4 231

By Leslie - 30/12/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 194

You deserved it 2 839

By Aeroboss - 23/01/2010 06:40 - France

Today, my mother machine-washed a suit I rented for a friends wedding, despite me informing her that it was dry-clean only, and that the store would take care of it. I now owe $1600 to replace the suit, and my mum is refusing to help pay, as she was "only trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 690

You deserved it 3 139

Aeroboss tells us more.

Aeroboss 8

Monday 8 February 2016 20:39

Hello guys! OP here. Did not think it would get posted. So, to add onto the story, my friend's wedding was postponed a week because we had a little rain and he wanted an outdoor wedding. My mom usually is a pretty wonderful woman, but she is still used to cleaning up after myself and my siblings, probably because my youngest has muscular dystrophy and can't walk. We ended up sorting it out with the company, who informed us they could send us a new one. To be honest, repairing the suit would have cost less than just renting another one. Anyway, thanks for listening to the rant. Bye.

By Anonymous - 25/01/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 525

You deserved it 32 439