o0artisha0o

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Ottawa, Canada
44 years-old
Tuesday 16 February 1982
In a relationship

About O0artisha0o

Not specified

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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The list of badges to find

O0artisha0o's favorite FMLs

My bad

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a toddler's ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 4 059

By offbeans - 17/02/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 267 654

You deserved it 90 963

Home again

By GD. - 21/02/2009 22:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300 018

You deserved it 67 643

Classic

By Can't Spell Worth A Damn - 06/03/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I was writing an email to our entire company regarding a fundraiser we are taking part in for children and adults with disabilities. I was rushing to get the email out and hit send before I realized that instead of "Best Regards" I had typed "Best Retards" as the closing line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 770

You deserved it 41 855

By Tourist - 26/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 1 192

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 47

Judge not lest you be judged, my friend

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 050

You deserved it 20 006

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 500

By ripped - 11/04/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 256

You deserved it 63 936

By whoops - 11/04/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 431

You deserved it 88 812

By Jdub - 28/05/2009 00:51 - United States

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 331

You deserved it 3 618

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 011

You deserved it 252 166

By Jeweler - 26/06/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 644

You deserved it 43 710

By pixelbaker - 29/07/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 872

You deserved it 2 740

pixelbaker tells us more.

pixelbaker 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 4:47

The "documents" were basically just data sets pulled from a database stored on a workstation in the office. This workstation is not backed up. Yes, the company is full of morons. No, I'm not fighting it because this was the last straw of many last straws. I don't want to work for these idiots any more.

By Alice - 01/08/2009 08:15 - United States

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 533

You deserved it 10 883