emziwie

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About Emziwie

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Emziwie - Followers

Emziwie - Followed

Emziwie's page visits

Hugged!

Emziwie's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The return of the thumb

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

100 kick-ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, my mouse works.

200 "I agree" votes is a good start.

YDI Master

You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.

Judgmental

You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.

A new thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.

The list of badges to find

Emziwie's favorite FMLs

Back in 2009…

By awkwardgayboi - 11/03/2009 18:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have our first "Cybering" experience. I downloaded Skype per his instructions, and hooked up my cam. Just as everything started getting hot and heavy, I farted. He stopped and frowned. I had no idea it was a video AND voice program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 944

You deserved it 92 897

By Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 474

You deserved it 149 875

Hand shandy

By cdoyle - 08/04/2009 12:32 - Canada

Today, I went to dinner with my boyfriend. After we'd ordered, I started to unzip his fly really slowly. As I put my hand into his boxers, he stood up to greet his mom and dad who were joining us for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 530

You deserved it 110 780

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 299

You deserved it 81 122

By Rhyno - 05/05/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 100

Rhyno tells us more.

Rhyno 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 23:53

To explain a bit more in detail, I pulled a U-Turn and the dog ran out of the yard and boom... It was a medium sized dog, I drive an SUV and didn't see it as I was making the turn. I didn't even know they had a dog... haha The following 20 minutes were probably the most uncomfortable of my life, after I knew the dog was fine I kinda laughed nervously and left. "Hi I'm the guy who is dating your daughter, sorry about the dog"... Live and you learn.

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my husband was leaving for a long business trip to Germany. As he was leaving, my daughter started crying. "Don't leave me with her !" she said. "Take me with you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 840

You deserved it 8 946