By Display - 27/09/2012 04:10 - France - Paris
MWhinery95
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Mwhinery95's favorite FMLs
By red - 27/09/2012 11:37 - United States - Portland
By getajob - 28/09/2012 17:40 - United States - Carmel
Creepy
By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada
Dumbass
By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
By kfenton - 29/09/2012 11:16 - United States
By firebombtimEFUCKERS - 29/09/2012 16:32 - United States
By carine13 - 30/09/2012 03:49 - Canada - Edmonton
carine13_fml tells us more.
OP here! FM password retrival. lol Yeah Canada Post comes with free insurance so I got my money back.
By BeforeItWasCool - 30/09/2012 09:30 - United Kingdom
BeforeItWasCool tells us more.
Wow this seems to have been misinterpreted! It was unplanned, I was entirely surprised by it. We hadn't planned on kids- if it had been positive it would have been an accident. I was just quite happy to have such a nice surprise even if it did turn out to be negative. I was quite disappointed it was negative, not because I've been secretly trying to get pregnant, but because I was pleasantly surprised. It just seems my fiancé was a little too enthusiastic about the negative result.
By what the fuck, mate - 30/09/2012 19:00 - Australia
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 23:02 - United States - Rocky Point
By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 00:49 - Australia - Sandringham
Disrespectful to the max
By SorryUncleTommy - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn
Something awful
By halitosis - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Compton
By fiftyno - 01/10/2012 15:02 - United States - Tacoma
By IcantDance! - 01/10/2012 16:05 - United States - Daphne
By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens
By GamerTag - 02/10/2012 13:11 - United States - Wantagh
Lost
By Anna - 02/10/2012 17:37 - United States - Murfreesboro
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.