By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim
Greeneyes41
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Greeneyes41's favorite FMLs
Why so serious?
By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States
Lost in translation
By tubby - 21/06/2012 20:28 - Sweden - Karlskrona
Objectification
By cmck932012 - 26/06/2012 06:18 - United States - Tyrone
By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay
By kalikanna - 07/07/2012 06:10 - United States - Piscataway
kalikanna tells us more.
By dogmom - 16/07/2012 20:51 - United States - Honolulu
By trisha - 16/07/2012 20:57 - United States - Wellesley Hills
Premonition
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 23:47 - United States
By Derp McShitstain - 16/09/2012 19:48 - United Kingdom - Saint Helens
By jitiizer - 19/09/2012 17:02 - Netherlands - Leeuwarden
Long held grudge
By thatwas10yearsago - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Reston
By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
BabyG2222 tells us more.
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.
By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago
By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 23:19 - United States - Topeka
By raz - 02/10/2012 00:11 - United States - Fargo
Creepy
By Anonymous - 17/10/2017 06:00 - United States
By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:45 - United States - Miami
By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 05:49 - United States
Well how about this. This tool place in Florida, not new jersey. Yes there was a hole in the roof but he patched it up pretty quick. Yes my dad is a redneck and it was a brown recluse so it deserved to die. XD