chocolatechic19

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About Chocolatechic19

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50 favorites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

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Chocolatechic19's favorite FMLs

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 387

You deserved it 38 386

By human torch - 18/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 52

By YouAREthefather - 18/03/2010 16:48 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 443

You deserved it 3 859

Old school cool

By Chimychunga - 01/08/2010 06:47 - United States

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 367

You deserved it 5 654

By jacobscrackers - 01/08/2010 18:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided that a good time to have our first kiss was on a roller-coaster, right before a huge drop. He bit through my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 945

You deserved it 5 888

By sicufovoshxbsjdk - 07/08/2010 02:22 - United States

Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a two-minute walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 352

You deserved it 2 626

By Anonymous - 07/08/2010 02:35 - United States

Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 118

You deserved it 18 551

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 791

You deserved it 7 244

By koolkidx3 - 24/02/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 3 077

By Jill - 25/02/2010 01:26 - France

Today, a friend of mine commented that I "have a lot of confidence for a fat girl". Ummm... thanks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 687

You deserved it 4 515

By Lespoon - 25/02/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 235

You deserved it 29 124

Busting makes me feel good

By thewordsicantsay - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class, I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 877

You deserved it 3 447

By OmniVore - 25/02/2010 09:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 393

You deserved it 42 841

Ewwww

By SayWhat - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to throw out the garbage outside. I noticed at the bottom of my can was a lot of rice. I was angry at my brother for making a mess. As I went to clean it up, the rice moved. It wasn't rice, it was maggots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 993

You deserved it 4 878

Tasty!

By Anonymous - 25/02/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 163

You deserved it 3 699

Oh, hai Mark

By grossuncle - 25/02/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple of pages, I saw my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 279

You deserved it 2 902

By Ringless - 25/02/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, my fiancée and I were selecting our wedding cake. The wedding is now off since I refused to buy her the "dream" wedding cake she wanted because it was chocolate. She called me childish and cheap. I'm highly allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 341

You deserved it 3 625

By hatemyjob - 25/02/2010 22:29 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 603

You deserved it 6 693

As you were

By ryan and Zack - 25/02/2010 22:30 - United States

Today, I walked over to my grandmother's house to pay her a visit. I politely knocked on the door, and there was no answer. Fearing that something had happened, I violently broke down the door to find my grandma and her new 80 year-old boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 345

You deserved it 8 021

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 672

You deserved it 47 065