By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
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By BabyG2222 - 29/09/2012 09:14 - United States - Sturgeon Bay
By firebombtimEFUCKERS - 29/09/2012 16:32 - United States
By scumdresser - 29/09/2012 20:34 - United States - Pittsford
By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 04:37 - United States - Northridge
By notgivingup - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By praise the prenup - 03/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Delaware
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 01:55 - United States - Palm City
By Sara - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Manassas
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 04:25 - Canada - Winnipeg
By WaitedOut - 03/10/2012 08:07 - United States - Saukville
By Anonymous - 03/10/2012 16:29 - United States - Santee
By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 23:02 - United States - Queen Creek
By badluckbrianna - 07/10/2012 05:43 - Canada - Scarborough
You know the corner of the door opening where the roof of the car meets the side of the car? I was already out of the car and facing away from the car. I started to lose my balance so I grabbed onto that corner (So I guess not really the roof of the car. Half the roof half the side of the car? I don't know what to call it and it's so hard to describe) to regain balance and adjust my crutches. My fingers were curled into the car and my palm resting on the roof. I'm pretty tall so that might be why I could do that. It's a sedan so it's short and it was the back door. Next thing I know SLAM. It still hurts to type.
By SoSexy - 07/10/2012 10:25 - United States - Stockton
Hey guys! This is the OP. 1) I honestly don't know, my boyfriend suggested we try filling up a tire with them. 2) Albeit being a bit embarrassed, it was actually quite hilarious for both of us. We're both in our 20s, but we still laugh at bodily functions, immature as that is. That, and I can't exactly see what's happening behind there.
By RIP - 07/10/2012 18:34 - Finland - Espoo
By Skidmark Sally - 07/10/2012 21:41 - United States - Las Cruces
By caltech - 10/10/2012 04:15 - United States - San Jose
By monkeyzz - 12/10/2012 11:11 - United States - Sonora
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 13/10/2012 21:54 - Australia - Brisbane
OP here, Okay just want to clarify some stuff first. The term "spank the ferret" is a "nice" way of putting he was jerking off. I originally wrote "jerked off" but I guess fmylife didn't like that wording and changed it to a friendly term. So, no there wasn't an actually ferret (no animal was hurt in the making of fmylife). Okay with that done now for the background story. My boyfriend at the time loved sex (like every normal guy) and liked to do the "traditional **** ending, where the guy cums on the girls face" He liked to call it Spiderman. (I'm aware doing the Spiderman is not done that way however he didn't want to splat in his hand and throw it at me, it was a modified Spiderman). Anyways, he got this "bright" idea to wake me up this way (thinking I was find it funny and sexy at the same time, which I didn't.) And for all of you who said I should have helped him out, I was sleeping, he woke me up just before and when I turned around SPLAT he shot me in the face while singing the theme song. We broke up a month later because of an unrelated issue but needless to say I was pretty mad at him but forgave him like after a day.