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Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 133

Quite right

By Dodged a nuke. - 08/09/2025 03:00 - Mexico

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 192

White light

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 12:00

Today, my brain hates me and refuses to let me sleep. No matter how physically exhausted I am, my mind just keeps racing. I just wanna get some sleep! FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 65

More cheese

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, one of the kids looked at me very seriously and asked, “Why do you have sad eyes like my dad did after he lost all his money?” I don’t even know the kid’s dad. I just wanted to make mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 85

Probably a Monday

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, running late for work, I ran outside and the door handle literally broke off my vehicle when I pulled to open it. I climbed in through the passenger door, turned on my car, and the windshield wipers were on… swiping a fresh $78 parking ticket across my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 137

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 122

Square one

By Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 150

Toxic positivity

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to get married after only six months because of an accidental but happy pregnancy. We’ve spent thousands on the wedding and baby stuff. Apparently it was money wasted, because I just got my period, despite not having one for three months and a positive pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 194

Better safe than sorry

By Anonymous - 21/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 86

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 115

Weird encounter

By No date for me - 29/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 129

Date night to remember

By Anonymous - 26/08/2025 17:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 166

Lonesome tonight

By FriendzonedAFBoi - 23/03/2025 19:00 - United States

Today, I realized that in order to get a girl, I have to lose 100lbs and/or get facial reconstruction. If I meet a girl, we get close, I do everything to make her happy, only to be told, “I only like you as a friend.” I also get told that I’d make a “great boyfriend” yet they don’t choose me. Being overlooked sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 345

Make it happen (RIP)

By Dyne mk.III - 02/11/2025 00:00

Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 101

Streaker alert!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 91

Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 105

Statistics

By Trish - 02/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went on a virtual date with someone I met on a hyper-personalized dating app. It turns out that the app matched me with my ex. Again. Because, apparently, “statistically, you two have so much in common, and also unresolved issues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 104

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 02:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 72

Nil - nil

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I got into an online debate about reproductive rights, healthcare, gun laws, and education in the US, all in one thread. Someone told me, “This is the greatest country in the world.” I asked, “Based on what?” He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 298

Blinded

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my phone’s flashlight turned on in my pocket while I was at the movie theater. I didn’t notice until the stranger next to me whispered, “Hey, your dick is glowing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 144

Overprotective

By swollenego - 02/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a park, I bent to examine a mosquito bite I had. As I looked up, I noticed a nearby couple staring and whispering in abject horror before calling their kids over to get bug-sprayed, pointing me out. Terrified, they immediately complied. It’s not even my worst bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 86

Scaffolding?

By NervousDog - 25/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 76

Samson v. Delilah

By Sagar - 24/05/2025 03:30 - India - Bengaluru

Today, and after I started losing my hair during my high school, my confidence is gone. I've struggled approaching women and have missed many opportunities. I'm 36 years-old now. Today, I connected with someone online, and when I told her about my situation, her response was, "Sorry, I'm not feeling that spark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 143

Bad day, huh?

By AllWrong - 27/09/2025 03:00

Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 80

Not my fault!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 83

Socialite

By Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 147

Snotty

By Snot monster - 29/08/2025 03:00 - Poland

Today, after days of nasal congestion, I stifled a sneeze. It went out my nose, blowing out a massive spray of green gunk, streaked with blood. This happened at a meeting, splattering the table in front of me with green bloody mucus. The other attendees looked horrified and one ran to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 149

Triggered

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 09:00

Today, I added a new trigger for my debilitating migraines: presentations shown on projectors - BAM; went to the movies - BAM; went to a concert - BAM BAM BAM. Apparently big screens trigger them now, in addition to sleep or meal disruption, hormones or stress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 58

So frustrated!

By Anonymous - 17/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, after I decided to explore my bisexual side since none of the four men I’ve been in relationships with ever got me to orgasm, I’ve now slept with three women this year. None of them got me to orgasm either. I guess I should just buy a vibrator or something. I’ll probably marry it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 178

Nervous

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 160

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The Top

Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 168

You deserved it 6 749

Today, my husband told me that, to feel less unreliable, he was just going to stop saying he was going to do anything around the house. That way, when he actually did something (i.e. wash dishes), I could be pleasantly surprised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 308

Today, my girlfriend is still mad at me because I got a MINISO cup and she doesn't have one. I was actually given that mug yesterday as a prize for working the extra hours I was forced to do last week without getting paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 97

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 184

You deserved it 3 900

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 5 479

Today, while looking through a stack of possible pictures for Facebook, I found one I really liked, until I noticed that I have recently developed a bald patch. Problem? I am a 22 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 064

You deserved it 3 076