The Top

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Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 09:00 - France

Today, as I was waiting for an online appointment with my doctor, she joined the video chat right as I had my head turned to say to my cat, “Stop licking your butt, people are watching!” My doctor then made her presence known by jokingly saying, “I can only treat you, not your cat.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 151

Strange system

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 09:00 - Sweden - Gothenburg

Today, I was expecting a big sum of money for skipping last year's vacation while working as a freelancer, as I've done the last four years. Turns out I won't get the money, as last month I accepted a full time employment, and now that money has been turned into vacation days instead. Guess I won't buy a new home yet… FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 138

Such a player

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 12:00

Today, I learned that my long term/long distance (two hours away) boyfriend has had not one, but two regular "girlfriends" closer to his home. He'd told them that we broke up while still coming to visit me weekly. He did stop coming by a few months ago because "work was crazy" but that didn't stop him from sending "pics" though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 86

Classic Dad moment

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my dad for the first time. She politely asked how he was doing, and he responded, “Still vertical. Still annoying people.” Then he winked at her and said, “You poor thing.” I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 141

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 117

Red flag

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, and ever since we started trying for a baby, my husband initiates sex a lot less often than he used to, and has even started suffering from erectile dysfunction on occasion. Call me crazy, but I’m starting to suspect he doesn’t want a baby after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 163

Whatnot etc.

By Fucked - 07/09/2025 22:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started my new shift schedule. They run on the policy: "Early is on time, on time is late." My shift starts at 6 in the morning. It's now 11pm and my wife called me a selfish bastard for asking her to get off Whatnot so I can sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 55

Little bundle of fluff

By Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 114

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 121

You believed him??

By Anonymous - 15/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that my ex-boyfriend didn't cheat on me with my ex-best friend like he said. He just wanted an excuse to break up. To make matters worse, when I tried to talk to her, she slapped me and gave me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 242

I like to (not) move it move it

By vava101 - 25/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my smartwatch detected what it thought was a fall and called emergency services. What was I doing? Dramatically flopping on the couch to binge-watch five episodes of a dating show. Paramedics showed up while I was still clutching a bag of Cheetos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 216

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 172

Social construct

By Fuck u - 19/02/2026 00:00

Today, I'm stuck in a bad relationship with a man who won't work to get ahead in life, and whose family looks down on me for being a different race. If I dump him, I'll have to live with my racist dad, who will smuckle endlessly about how I "learned a lesson for dating outside your race." FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 260

Cruel kids

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 20:00

Today, my 7-year-old daughter squeezed her hamster's balls. She squeezed so hard that they literally popped out. She said that her older sister (who is 14-years-old) convinced her to do it. Both girls are grounded and have their cell phones and TV taken away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 126

Not your problem

By Anonymous - 16/01/2026 09:00

Today, I saw a good friend beg and crawl back to her controlling girlfriend who treats her like a child for the umpteenth time, even after herself acknowledging that she got mistreated. I don't know what else to do to help her, or if I even should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 81

Protip

By Anonymous - 20/03/2026 03:00

Today, my boyfriend scratched his balls then rubbed his finger under my nose, all so he could grab the TV remote and change the channel while I ran to the sink retching FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 111

Kick off

By Anonymous - 09/01/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having spontaneous sex on the sofa when he suddenly pulled out and sat back down, boner waving like a flagpole, because half time was over on the football and he hadn’t thought the sex would take so long. Let's see if he ever gets sex again, tosser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 122

Low blow

By Alay - 25/03/2026 15:00

Today, while I was working, my friend stopped by and visited with me a moment. After she left, my client asked me if she was my daughter. My friend is 32 and I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 78

Groundwork for groundwork

By Anonymous - 25/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to have session 0 of an online tabletop RPG campaign. My laptop's screen decided it no longer wants to display anything. I've only had this laptop for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 76

Nice imagery, thanks

By rockergirl99 - 25/02/2026 20:00

Today, my husband got pissed drunk and told his friends, “My wife let herself go after having the baby. I have to roll her around in flour and find the wet spot when I hit it.” I’m three weeks postpartum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 59

I started a joke…

By Shabby Rabbit - 03/09/2025 18:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, two of my friends, who are both well off, offered to buy me new clothes. I thought they were just being generous like they normally are. I also thought my clothes weren't too bad, so I asked my girl if I looked ratty. She just started laughing at me. Apparently they're really bad and it's a running joke for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 151

Burgers? In this economy?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 08:00 - Peru - Lima

Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 173

Stuck in the warehouse

By Forklift certified - 27/09/2025 09:00

Today, I needed the big forklift at work. The one that gets hidden by people and that has nearly no keys left because they all got lost. I had organised a key and I knew where it was parked, so nothing could go wrong. When I tried to put the key in the ignition, there was only a hole. The ignition was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 46

Whiplash

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 03:00

Today, I realized that the medication I take because of bowel issues only works for about 6 hours. After that, it's one run to the toilet after another. The problem is that I can only take it twice a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 57

Falling and laughing

By Jane_Elle02 - 18/10/2025 09:00

Today, I finally told my crush I liked him. He smiled and said, “That’s sweet, but I thought you knew I was seeing someone.” I laughed awkwardly and said, “Of course, I was just joking!” Then I immediately tripped over my own bag while leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 98

Graham, is that you?

By Nazi ex bf - 17/11/2025 12:00

Today, during a social media dive on my new boyfriend, I found out his username on an old forum was "Hitlerdidnothingwrong69." I confronted him, and all he said was, "It was a different time, that was funny then." FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 186

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 142

The tedium of everyday life

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Banning

Today, after seven years of marriage to a guy almost four years younger then me, he looks and acts like an old fart. He would rather watch TV than have intimacy with me. He can't even last longer than two minutes when we have sex, which ends up always leaving me frustrated and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 148

Fix me up

By Anonymous - 21/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized thanks to two injuries I have that I can't do two routines my doctor wants me to do. I strained something in my right hip so squatting causes me pain. Jogging is also out of the question because my right foot healed wrong when I sprained it, and requires pricey foot surgery to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 91

Casual

By Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 85

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm at the age that whenever I mention a friend of the opposite gender, my family's first response is asking whether that friend is single. I've already accepted no one will want a pathetic freak like me, so their poking around what few friends I have makes it awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 187

Today, my mother's blatant favouritism of my little brother hit an all time high when she got him his dream car for his 18th birthday, to the tune of £7000. Do you know what she got me for my 18th last year? £10 in a card and a bottle of cheap wine that she ended up drinking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 89

Today, we drove six hours to get to our holiday cottage only to realise that my girlfriend had forgotten her suitcase. This put her in a bad mood, so she made ME drive six hours back to her flat to get it, then when I got there, I realised HER keys to HER FLAT were still in HER handbag six hours back at the cottage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 323

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 3 418

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 819

You deserved it 6 500

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 188

You deserved it 6 353