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Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

By Rizuki_Tsurai - 02/04/2025 06:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 125

Time sensitive

By Landin - 12/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Vernal

Today, my girlfriend left me at 11pm after leading me on for 5 months, all because she lost interest. I wasted so much time, money, and emotions on her, and never received them from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 280

Ashes to ashes

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 124

Cutthroat

By Glume - 05/04/2025 17:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 167

Where am I?

By I hate myself - 21/06/2025 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 100

Wax on, wax off

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 102

Just doing my part

By Jimmy - 29/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, I biked to work to save gas money and also to be as eco-friendly as I could. A freak April hailstorm pelted me so hard that my helmet cracked. Local news called it “just another Monday.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 116

Right on time

By Debz - 29/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was already late so I sprinted to catch the bus. Just as I jumped on, my left shoe flew off, and I practically tripped over my own feet, falling flat on my face in a bus full of strangers. The driver asked, "You OK Ma’am?" while stifling laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 113

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 230

Lemons

By Leah Magers - 29/12/2025 22:00

Today, my husband and I were finally about to put our house on market because we have killed our savings on moving and two mortgages for the past couple of months. Then the pipes burst. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 60

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 67

Tripped wires

By Anonymous - 18/01/2025 00:00 - Denmark

Today, I joined what I thought was my company’s morning meeting. It took 15 minutes of listening to strangers talk about organic farming before I realized I was in the wrong Zoom. I still don't know how the link I was sent got me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 136

Experimental cuisine

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I packed my lunch meticulously: salad, sandwich, fruit. Then I put the entire thing in my backpack, on top of what turned out to be a leaky water bottle. By lunch, I was faced with eating a soggy mess of lettuce soup and bread mush. It was not great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 113

Overenthusiastic

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to pick my wife up and put her on the worktop for some oral fun, and when I say "tried" I mean I failed. My back spasmed for the first time in my life and I sort of threw her into the fridge door. I’m now in agony, she’s mad that I “think she’s fat”, and the fridge has a dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 131

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 468

Badass

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, my little sister beat me at arm-wrestling. I'm a 15 year-old boy and she's 12. It happened in front of our entire extended family and they all laughed hysterically. I tried to act like I let her win, but the truth is that I was trying as hard as I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 229

For science!

By Jefferson - 01/11/2025 22:00

Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 75

Curb your curb

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 09:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 104

Spooky season ain't over

By Brendon - 05/11/2025 15:00

Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 94

Toxic workplace

By Fuck off Jim - 20/11/2025 09:00

Today, my boss wrote me up for drinking Kombucha at work, swearing it was "fancy Asian beer." I went to HR with the bottle and they dismissed the write up, since they saw sense and realized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 68

Not a great idea

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 05:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I have reached that point in my life: my wisdom teeth have made their presence known. My mom says I don't need to see a dentist, because, "they'll come out by themselves." As it turns out, that can happen, but it's extremely rare. I'd rather not bet on a random, unlikely chance, but she insists. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 85

Foot in mouth

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 00:00

Today, I made an offhand comment to a close friend about having to keep a close eye on my toddler so he “doesn’t kill himself.” As the words escaped my lips, I realized that this was the same friend whose husband shot himself in the face five months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 235

Mystery box

By why - 11/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, I cleaned out my filthy car. I found an odd, unlabeled tin under the seat, and opened it out of curiosity. It sprayed stinking juice everywhere and filled the house with a horrifying smell. It was Surströmming, half rotten fish, that someone must have stuck in as a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 240

Evil is amongst us

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 15:00

Today, I had to sit and listen to a coworker tell me about how disappointed she is her daughter is a lesbian and wondering if anyone still does those "pray it away" camps. I work in HR so I couldn’t even call her an evil, bigoted witch, because I know I’m the one who’d lose my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 160

The absolute betrayal

By rejected - 03/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my ex is sleeping in the basement for a few days until he can find a new place. All three of my cats would rather snuggle with him on the couch, even though two of them hate each other. None want to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 183

The main attraction

By Born Slippy - 23/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking on a rainy pavement in new shoes. Suddenly, I slipped, flailed my arms wildly, and landed flat on my back. The worst part? I was in front of a pub window. It was the middle of the day but still had people in it. Thankfully, no one applauded, because British people prefer to smirk in silence. A kid did give me a thumbs-up, which was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 92

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 223

Still a suspect

By UsernameNotFound404 - 01/04/2025 00:00 - Czechia

Today, I woke up, made breakfast for myself, and read all the notifications on my smartphone. The first one was about an accidental death at work, and that all maintenance workers are suspects. I work in maintenance, and it's not my section where the accident happened. RIP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 58

Bad joke, dude!

By Peterrulesall - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 3 471

Culture wars

By Anonymous - 04/11/2025 09:00

Today, to get revenge on our kids for constantly annoying her with that "6, 7" bullshit, my wife has decided to speak only in 90s slang and Pauly Shore quotes. I feel like I haven’t had a normal conversation in weeks! I’m losing my fucking mind! FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 132

Today, I broke my leg. It's bad enough on its own, but I secretly have a fetish for casts and crutches. I'm constantly turned on and it's driving me crazy. Six weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 1 222

Today, my boss tried to fire me for not emailing him a screenshot to prove my email wasn't working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 056

You deserved it 1 331

Today, I spent over $160 and 2 hours preparing for a Halloween party I was throwing. The only person who showed up was my sister, who helped me decorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 157

You deserved it 4 331

Today, I took my AP US History exam. For some reason, my school let the school nurse proctor the exam. She read the instructions for the wrong test and told us to seal up our tests, despite having another section left in that book. She wouldn't listen to us when we tried to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 807

You deserved it 854

Today, I got into an elevator with a stranger. The silence was so awkward that I muttered, “Sometimes I pretend I’m on a reality show.” The stranger just stared at me until the doors opened. We work on the same floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 494