The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

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For whom the bell tolls

By Christina - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 881

You deserved it 50 534

Photoshopped

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 966

You deserved it 4 048

Spud

By cheat - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I cheated at card games to let my boyfriend win. I did it because I don't like him to throw the cards at me when I win. Now he just thinks I'm "so slow a turtle could kick my ass" and that he has "a cute little bubbly spud-brained girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 331

You deserved it 37 703

Yikes

By nycgirl424 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years sent me a text message saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 113

You deserved it 3 264

Nice try

By clumsy - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, I tried to "trip" and fall into this guy I've had a crush on. I missed and fell on my face. He stepped over me and kept walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 970

You deserved it 54 630

Boozehound

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 584

You deserved it 21 759

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 785

You deserved it 12 437

Stranger danger

By Dani - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 335

You deserved it 2 690

Live a little

By Milly - 17/04/2025 03:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 223

You deserved it 508

Not going out

By not drunk - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Santa Maria

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 4 787

Tl; dr

By projectfain - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Akron

Today, I e-mailed the online instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 290

You deserved it 3 279

Freaked

By paranoid - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 840

You deserved it 55 487

With friends like these…

By marz88 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 109

You deserved it 7 254

Friends for life

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 10:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush and best friend got a new girlfriend, with the same interests him and I share. Despite us being compatible in interests, he just never saw me in a romantic way. When I asked if we’re so alike, what does she have that I don’t? He said, “Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 649

See ya later

By myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 234

You deserved it 3 605

Half beard

By ihatemylife - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Naperville

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 697

You deserved it 2 478

Waiting for that trickle down

By amused - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 914

You deserved it 8 853

A day to remember

By TitMunch - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 965

You deserved it 4 483

You're welcome!

By phonegotlostinthepark - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 514

You deserved it 4 219

Snark

By hahasuckit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled, "Yeah, right…" in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 721

You deserved it 5 480

Racing stripes

By Wannabees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 505

You deserved it 38 236

Help!

By notwasted39 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 448

You deserved it 3 176

I'm fine, this is fine

By btg - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 679

You deserved it 3 662

Sting operation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year-old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 54 396

Long day

By Heww - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 764

You deserved it 5 465

Dogging at home

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 140

Doggy dog world

By badwolf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 047

You deserved it 4 286

I am the passenger

By jreed509 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster, I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough, it somehow managed to survive and fall down my shirt. It crawled around and stung me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 223

You deserved it 4 164

This is fine

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while at work, I suddenly went into diabetic shock. As I was nearly passed out on the floor, a customer yelled at me for not getting his coffee in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 253

You deserved it 3 656

NIMBYs all over

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 132

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter’s stupid ass boyfriend tried to get “internet famous” by having her record videos of him handing $20 to random homeless people. What he wasn’t counting on was one of them kicking the ever loving shit outta both of them, snatching the money, and running off. Her nose is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 270

Today, it was the first time my fiancé and I have been able to have sex in the daytime for ages. We have 2 kids under 2 who take up most of our time, so when we had the opportunity, we grabbed a condom and pounced. Everything was going well until he pulled out… and left the condom inside. Now we can’t find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 221

Today, I was working as the shift manager at my job at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before clocking in. Kris is a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 149

You deserved it 3 576

Today, I was using my boyfriend's phone to call my mom. A text message arrived from "Christina" that said, "Just put the kids to bed, come over." He swears they're only work buddies, but refuses to tell her he has a girlfriend, to avoid making things weird at work. We've been together two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 510

You deserved it 5 057

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "Slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple of little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street, calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 416

You deserved it 4 388

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 831

You deserved it 68 961