The Top

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Teen spirit

By Dee - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying, "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 434

You deserved it 22 296

Dodged my bullet

By Lo. - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 215

You deserved it 4 788

Please leave

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 248

Burn!

By morningeyes - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 204

You deserved it 95 789

Red flag?

By strangebeans - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents informed that the man I'm going to marry had made it into the newspaper, on page twelve. He is listed as a fugitive and there is a warrant out for his arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 025

You deserved it 3 722

Trashed

By rainey - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 719

You deserved it 2 642

Impressive

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 759

You deserved it 19 562

Nature is healing

By screwthewilderness - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I visited my vacation cabin. I've been planning to sell it, and it was in perfect condition when I last visited about 6 months ago. I walked in the door to find the floor covered in muddy pawprints and bloody remainders of meals. It appears some bears moved in during my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 3 769

Overthinking it

By omgreally91 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I spent an hour photoshopping my face onto super skinny models as inspiration for a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 685

You deserved it 30 715

Oh…

By wingless_angel_7 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 144

You deserved it 8 582

RIP

By anonya - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Madera

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 227

You deserved it 3 182

Merry Xmas

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Jeromesville

Today, a friend had invited me to Christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there, she told me that her and her husband had forgotten they had another dinner to go to, and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 737

You deserved it 2 970

Happy Valentine's Day

By Yudansha - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, we wrote Valentine's Day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurts to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 211

You deserved it 15 093

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water, only to see my 75 year-old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asked me if we had any coffee creamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 847

You deserved it 2 976

Thanks guys

By MCRxforever - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 213

You deserved it 3 710

To serve and protect

By Stupid dog - 11/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was giving me some good dick, only for us to be interrupted by banging on the door. He had to jump out a window. Serves me right for cheating, huh? Except I'm not married, it was just my psycho overprotective pit bull who smashed the door open when he heard us moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 226

FOCUS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 2 715

Great guy

By Uglee - 16/09/2025 03:00

Today, I asked out a guy after having feelings for him for more than a year now. He told me, “Ugh, if only I could take your personality and put it on a different face and body.” When I asked him, “Why, is just my personality not enough?” He responded, “You can’t really have sex with a personality.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 151

Too late

By Kelly - 09/10/2025 09:00

Today, I stayed late at work to finish a project. The lights are motion-sensor activated, and they turned off while I was in the bathroom. I stumbled out in total darkness and screamed when I saw a shadowy figure. It was the janitor. He screamed too. We both apologized to each other for way too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 97

Guess the country

By All I want for Christmas is loan forgiveness - 25/12/2025 09:00

Today, I learned that our evil fascist pedophile rapist "President" will start seizing property of people behind on their student loans next month. What property? I have an old crappy car and a dumpy apartment, and I work 2 jobs just to tread water. Take my fucking organs, I guess, they're all I've got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 395

Tense

By Juan - 08/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife decided to quit nicotine. I came home to find my Xbox, Playstation, Switch, and PC burning in our fire pit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 54

Straining

By NoPeeGiven - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Palatine

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 186

You deserved it 10 115

Anything for a quiet life

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 22:00

Today, I got mad at my husband for slacking off on chores. I wanted help so we could both spend time with our daughters who were visiting. He was having a heart attack and didn't want to spoil the visit, so he kept quiet. I just got mad instead of noticing he was in pain. I'm a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 482

The body keeps the score

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, the girl I used to be in love with texted me again after 5 months. She wanted to say that she remembers my birthday, which is next month. I hate that my heart still speeds up at the mention of her name, and I know it won't ever stop. She was my first crush since I came out, and my first heartbreak. I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 142

No scrubs

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I was told “unofficially” that I should stop wearing brown scrubs to work. More than one patient complained to the front desk and said they thought I was naked when I walked into the room. My scrubs aren’t even tight. I'm pretty sure it’s my brown skin that bothers them more than brown scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 190

Seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, you know that cute video of the girl waking up from anaesthesia, seeing her boyfriend and calling him cute even though she’s drugged up? Yeah, good for him. Meanwhile, my husband just woke up from his surgery all drugged up, looked at me, and said, "Ew, Grandma, I thought you were dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 113

The body keeps the score

By Shitty situation hur hur - 23/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, crying, because she shat her pants. I'd feel more sympathy if she ever ate fruit, or vegetables, or anything other than sugar and carbs, or took the prescription fiber supplements her doctor prescribed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 119

Fashionista

By malicious_melons - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Santa Paula

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 633

You deserved it 3 597

Sounds kinda unhealthy

By ToxicFamily - 15/08/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my brother-in-law is super mean and treats me like shit, but carries his wife on a golden platter. I've literally done more for him the past 10+ years of my marriage than his wife of 3 years. I've taken bank loans, packed countless lunches, washed so much laundry, all while his wife doesn't lift a finger for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 689

Prepare for trouble

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking in the street, and ahead of me was a girl with a flowing dress. It was windy and the dress lifted up, showing for a split second Pokemon underwear. Before I could stop myself, I said: "Pikachu, I see you." She turned around and slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 664

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 163

You deserved it 2 851

Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 162

Today, I sat in my hotel room bathroom in dead silence for 30 minutes while I waited for the cleaning staff to stop watching TV and drinking beer from the minibar, so that I could finish using the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 395

You deserved it 3 763

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 375

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 194

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 078

You deserved it 46 067