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Ouch

By billy - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 020

You deserved it 5 405

Good night!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 922

You deserved it 34 488

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 759

You deserved it 323

Cheapskates

By 2broke4ajoke - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, after starting my new career as a server, two women were kind enough to leave a $5 tip… while still owing $6.84 on their bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 196

Many such cases

By clitorasaurus - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 798

You deserved it 33 170

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 666

You deserved it 3 404

Tie break

By anonymoose - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Adelaide

Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 695

You deserved it 3 406

No one's favorite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 687

You deserved it 3 783

Global stinking

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, my boyfriend told me he thinks brushing his teeth and doing anything basically hygienic is unnecessary now, because, "we're all going to die out around about 2050 anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 232

Wuss

By Sir Vom-a-lot - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 6 831

Nice

By notestojenn - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Manchester

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 306

You deserved it 2 148

Where'd you go?

By omgjessp - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat came through my window, holding a dead rat in her mouth and dropped it in my pile of clothes. I then asked my dad if he could get the dead rat out of my room. After looking for an hour, he couldn't find it. Guess the rat wasn't dead after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 930

You deserved it 4 054

Is this another Tictac thing?

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 00:00

Today, my girlfriend hit me on the head with a frying pan for a funny video, because she thought it would go bonk and make me do a funny reaction. She must be a new kind of stupid cause I got four stitches, a hairline fracture, and a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 43

Celebrate!

By Nalya - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my fiancé told me that after 7 years together, he is no longer in love with me. Shocked and appalled, I asked him if he had anything else to add. "Happy Birthday." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 344

You deserved it 2 154

Playing favorites

By So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 55

Superficial

By Jackielynn - 22/01/2026 00:00

Today, my new husband told me, “If you ever get comfortable during the marriage I’m leaving. So I’m getting you a gym membership to keep that body in check.” When I protested, he told me, “How would you feel if I packed pounds and look like Jabba The Hutt?” My silence was punctuated by an “Exactly.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 405

My house, anyone's rules

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 22:00

Today, my parents moved my senile grandpa in with us, but he keeps yelling at me for gaming and sometimes just switches my computer off. This is my house, not theirs. I work remotely, I’m not gaming, and their unemployed asses can’t even watch him closely enough to keep him out of my home office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 77

Spurt

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 00:00

Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 126

You deserved it 223

The talk

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 20:00

Today, I had to have a conversation with my husband about how my toes have gone numb from the diabetes that it's no longer sexy when he sucks my toes, because it just feels odd and uncomfortable to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 70

Competitive

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 22:00

Today, my husband has such a fragile ego that he secretly visited an escape room five times in the two months before 15 of us went as a group, all so that he would know all the answers in advance and impress everyone. He’d have managed it too, except he paid with our credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 70

It's not what you think

By Shopper - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 544

You deserved it 7 845

Show yourself!

By Coneer - 19/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told an employee to turn her camera on during a meeting when she worked remote. Since she refused to turn it on, I questioned the veracity of whether she was actually working at home, so I threatened to take disciplinary action. She responded by filing a complaint to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 535

Me me me

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 20:00

Today, some old friends came to visit me after I had my first baby a few weeks ago. When the last friend, who has always been rather self-centered, arrived, she immediately announced her own pregnancy and talked of nothing else for the rest of her stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 54

Old boy

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 20:00

Today, I visited my girlfriend’s family in Louisiana and her grandmother told her Pawpaw was still alive. Was it a neighbor or relative. Nope, a 60 year-old 12-foot alligator in the river behind their house. He actually came like a dog when she whistled. Scared the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 74

One liner

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 15:00

Today, I opened a new can of shaving cream. The moment I touched the top, the whole can emptied into my palm, and startled the crap outta me. I'm a whole lot more sympathetic to my first girlfriend now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 102

Sleepy head

By Anonymous - 25/01/2026 09:00

Today, my son hid under coats and bags in the back seat of my work van to scare me, but fell asleep under there. I didn’t realise this until my wife rang me hysterical that he was missing. I was 80 miles away already on a job when I found the sleepy little git back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 15

New avenue

By Pride lost - 20/01/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend and I went out with one of her guy friends. After two bars, we ended up back at her place and somehow the three of us ended up in bed. I was a Gold Star Lesbian and now I'm just a slutty bi girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 228

I should've known

By I hate it too - 25/01/2026 12:00

Today, and every day for the past five months since I got married, whenever my husband and I try to have sex, I think of it as "wifely duties" and it turns me off so much. I can't stop, and we haven't had sex once. My husband is frustrated and angry, and keeps commenting that he should have known this would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 40

New fad dropped

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 20:00

Today, I made the horrible mistake of introducing my girlfriend to Renaissance Faires. Now she’s completely obsessed and insists on getting brand new costumes, wigs, accessories, etc. for each new event. She’s even looking at fairs several states over. What have I done? FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 293

It's nothing personal

By Anonymous - 18/01/2026 15:00

Today, as a teaching assistant, I somehow uploaded my personal notes instead of the lecture slides. My “notes” included reminders like “slow down, idiot”, “this makes no sense”, and “students will hate this part.” Several students emailed me saying they appreciated the honesty. I would've appreciated the ground opening and swallowing me whole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 296

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, in a particularly crowded section of the mall, I felt someone touch my back, several times. My self-defense kicked in, I screamed to attract attention, whipped around and threw a punch. No one was there; It was my ponytail touching my back. People were staring me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 1 410

Today, I had to put my glasses on just to scroll Pornhub. I'm officially old and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 308

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 772

You deserved it 2 964

Today, my brother sent me over a dozen screenshots from his phone, because he couldn't work out why it wasn't capturing all the paint he'd managed to smear on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 422

You deserved it 279

Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 380

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 262

You deserved it 36 401