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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 29/04/2016 17:11 - United States - Ames

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 472

You deserved it 1 783

By tellyc - 26/04/2016 02:36 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, once again someone pointed out how much my brother and boyfriend look alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 535

You deserved it 2 675

tellyc tells us more.

tellyc 27

Tuesday 26 April 2016 21:54

Hi guys! This is my FML. Basically whenever someone new meets my boyfriend or sees my brother they always comment how much they look alike. Recently every time I see my boyfriend from afar I think he's my brother so it freaks me out just a little bit. Glad to hear it's not really uncommon!

By BoBandy - 15/08/2018 14:30

Today, I finally went to the hospital for a week-long migraine. A few Saturdays ago I went to the park to play frisbee with my friends and coworkers. While climbing a fence, I fell and hit my head twice. Turns out I have a severe concussion and a swollen brain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 707

You deserved it 908

By izzy_the_pessimist - 10/09/2018 18:30

Today, at lunch, I was talking to my friends about having a boyfriend. Suddenly, some boy I don't even know said, "Nobody wants to date that ugly bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 179

You deserved it 272

Don't come

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my parents and in-laws are in a bidding war for the house next door, since we are about to have a son. We're not even sure if we want them living this close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 471

You deserved it 1 579

By Nykole McAllister - 15/09/2018 17:30 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was talking to a nice guy on a dating app and we exchanged numbers. Later, I got a call. It was his wife asking me to stop talking to her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 159

You deserved it 297

Gross

By Anonymous - 19/09/2018 13:30

Today, a man easily 30 years older than me said hi in a bar, but I didn’t engage. Apparently that meant "Please rub your junk on my leg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 557

You deserved it 288

Nebo baby

By Anonymous - 25/10/2018 08:00 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I was fired from the job I've had for 15 years. My boss recently hired his daughter as a senior manager and she made several cuts because, as she put it, the sales team was "too old and lame". I didn't know being a young bitch was a requirement to work at a furniture warehouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 008

You deserved it 145

By bucollegegirl - 08/10/2012 14:07 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 815

You deserved it 6 579

By duncan74 - 10/12/2014 03:23 - France - Balma

Today, my cats found a new game to play. They each sit on either side of the cat flap, and take turns hitting it. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. At 3 am. Clack, clack. Clack, clack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 922

You deserved it 4 268

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 492

You deserved it 4 556

By Jamie - 11/11/2018 05:00 - United States

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 457

You deserved it 285

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 813

You deserved it 97 757

By Louis - 15/11/2018 13:00 - South Africa

Today, I decided to be healthy and drink a tall glass of water whilst doing my assignment that is due in three days. I managed to spill the entire glass over my laptop. I flipped it over and used a hairdryer to dry it off. While doing that, I managed to melt my keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 2 999

By TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion - 29/01/2016 12:51 - United States - Rochester

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 087

You deserved it 1 748

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 090

You deserved it 49 681

By Alisha-_- - 23/11/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that the love of my life had been pleasuring himself to pictures of my ex-boyfriends. Yes, he's bisexual. He says it's ok because I'm dating him now. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 263

You deserved it 453

By hahagirl - 12/09/2012 05:40 - United Kingdom

Today, my cousin suddenly confided in me that he had tried to commit suicide by overdosing when he was 17. Shocked and not knowing how to respond, I blurted out, "Did it work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 458

You deserved it 34 894

Crazy day

By Anonymous - 30/12/2021 14:01

Today, a total Karen climbed into my passenger seat and told me she was going to give me a bad Uber review for being late. I ain’t no Uber driver, but she refused to believe me. I had to call the police to get her out of my car. They had to taser her to get her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 800

You deserved it 142

By vanilla_blossom - 05/01/2016 18:49 - United States - Jackson

Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 296

You deserved it 1 585

By sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 3 780

By JunkDex - 23/12/2015 07:45 - Australia - Merrylands

Today, my boss thought it would be a great idea to delay paying me until after Christmas. There goes rent, bills, food and of course Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 606

You deserved it 1 704

By anthony - 25/11/2015 12:32 - Luxembourg

Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 265

You deserved it 1 888

By Irrationalwife - 31/03/2019 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 233

By blackonblight - 11/11/2015 11:23 - United States - Dover

Today, I finally overcame depression-induced writer's block. I was typing at a good speed and before I knew it had over a thousand words that I was reasonably proud of. Then I woke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 118

You deserved it 1 944

blackonblight tells us more.

blackonblight 32

Thursday 12 November 2015 6:27

Hey guys. Sadly, the only things that stayed with me were a snippet of dialogue, entirely out of context. Like most dreams, it was more the idea of writing that was played out for me, the movie scene version. I felt the pride, the mental exertion, but chances are the dream didn't have any real writing in it. Just that word count at the top and the line "Those eyes looked in on me and all I was. They saw me, and they saw nothing. So now, they will see nothing. Forever." And the resulting crash from discovering it was all a dream is actually worse than the block itself. I'm not giving up, not by a long shot, but I doubt I'll be getting that story back, if it ever existed. But hey, I got an FML out of it!

By GoldenSteve - 05/11/2015 15:31 - United States - Humble

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 484

You deserved it 2 553