The Top

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Stinky

By Barney - 19/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, while in a bathroom stall at work, I pulled out my phone to play Candy Crush. Somehow, I hit the volume button, and my phone blasted a YouTube ad for men’s body spray. The whole room went silent. Then I heard someone say, “You need it, son.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 399

Small talk

By Rob - 24/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 594

You OK, bro?

By Anonymous - 28/09/2025 09:00

Today, at the gym I loaded way too much weight on the bench press. Halfway through my set, I got stuck with the bar on my chest, squealing like a squeezed rubber duck until a stranger rescued me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 471

Trapped

By Embarassed - 01/10/2025 22:00

Today, I wished my best friend a happy birthday with a long, heartfelt post on social media. Turns out her birthday is next week, she'd just set a trap by changing the date on her profile. I was so confident that I even added, “Finally remembered this year!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 352

My BFF

By Vicky - 12/10/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 141

Not so smooth criminal

By Ughhhhhh - 14/10/2025 09:00

Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 62

Obsession

By Perfectionist - 20/10/2025 12:00

Today, it's been a week since I was supposed to be moved. I've had to work over because of network, data issues, and now a computation that's slightly off. The computation is optional, and there's no one at the federal office to even accept the report, but my stupid brain won't let me stop until it's fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 245

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 120

Take the help you can get

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 03:00

Today, I realized that no matter what kind of mental break, even just needing someone to vent to about night terrors and fears, my husband and mom will threaten to call a 72h psych hold on me if I so much as cry or be emotional at all. Then they'll forget me for two weeks and say "it's not a big deal." It makes someone want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 115

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 09:00

Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 187

Stolen valor!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 03:00

Today, I told my crush I’d bring homemade cookies. The batch burned so badly the smoke alarm screamed. In desperation, I bought store cookies, put them on a tray, and claimed them as mine. My crush said, “These taste store-bought.” I panicked and confessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 398

Sorry Mom

By daniel - 24/11/2025 22:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a dick pic. I should have realized that "Morgan" is right next to "Mom" in my contacts list. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 402

Push on through the shame

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 00:00

Today, my neighbor caught me practicing a “power pose” pep talk in my car before work. I froze mid-pose while he stared in confused silence. He gave me a thumbs-up, slowly backed away, and I drove off immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 294

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 124

Remote

By Anonymous - 25/12/2025 00:00

Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 66

The DIY trap

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried to save money by fixing a leaky sink myself. Fifteen minutes and three tools later, I had flooded under-sink cabinets and a new appreciation for plumbers. My landlord arrived with a wrench and a look that said ‘you’ll learn.’ I learned to call professionals first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 385

Work is a four-letter word

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 22:00

Today, I am so paranoid from being bullied at work, I need time off. But because of the bullying, I am too paranoid to take leave. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 149

Third wheel

By sammy - 11/01/2026 20:00

Today, and since 2026 started, my two friends began liking each other and I'm very happy for them. The problem? They get so close (literally and figuratively) that they do things that make me feel left out (both subjectively and objectively). Everyone says it's normal, but when I was in love I never did that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 268

Impulse purchase

By Gary - 17/01/2026 03:00

Today, I wanted a Stranger Things flashlight, but I saw they were out of stock at Target so I ordered one on Mercari. The Target website later got more in, so I paid double the original price with shipping included. I’m done online shopping for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 445

Can't handle my drinks

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 07:00 - Philippines - San Jose del Monte

Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 756

Apocalypse snow

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I shoveled the driveway because there's enough snow to block my car. Overnight we're supposed to get six more inches of snow. It's like shoveling the driveway is a waste of time because more snow gets piled on it the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 148

Ninja!

By Today I closed every door on every floor of my building - 23/02/2025 16:00 - United States - Hampstead

Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 96

Corruption, corruption everywhere

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Czechia

Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 91

Streaker alert!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 91

Hero complex

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was walking through a Tesco's car park when I saw a shopping trolley slowly rolling towards me. I figured I’d be a hero and stop it before it hit a car. As I grabbed it, I slipped on a patch of ice and crashed straight into the cart, sending right it into the car I was trying to protect, denting the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 98

Gimme a break

By Respect the handyman - 01/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 119

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 206

Nervous introvert of the day

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 03:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, it was a bad day. I had a crush on a classmate, but he switched schools a month ago. We started to develop a good relationship when it happened, and he came to our party on Friday, we even had a good conversation. But he visited school today, and I ignored him. I should've waved hi, but I didn't because I was busy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 617

Rise and shine (again)

By Tired - 21/04/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my anxiety-ridden body decided that a good time to have a random panic attack for no reason at all would be when I was trying to go to sleep. Guess I'll stay awake, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 87

False advertising

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 03:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 83

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The Top

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 362

You deserved it 2 473

Today, I discovered that a company has been using a photo of me for one of those "she lost 50 pounds" online ads. I'm the "before" photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 335

You deserved it 397

Today, I went to the ER for extremely heavy bleeding related to my IUD birth control. They decided the best thing to do was remove it. An exam, two ultrasounds, and three x-rays later, the doctor comes back to tell me what's going on. Yeah, they can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 2 101

Today, and for the 4 months preceding it, my neighbors had been remodeling their house, which meant jackhammer noises every morning. The one day they take a break, my other neighbor decides to start a remodeling project. It'll only be two more months of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 325

You deserved it 1 193

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 7 871

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 238

You deserved it 3 339