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    : 320



    Well rested

    Anonymous - 27/06/2025 00:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

    Today, after a long airplane trip, I arrived at a hotel hoping to get some rest at last. At around 2 AM, my older daughter (13) suddenly got up to start yelling things while sleepwalking. My younger daughter (4) slept all night peacefully, but I realized she had forgotten to put on her nighttime diaper. FML
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    Experimental cuisine

    Anonymous - 28/06/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I packed my lunch meticulously: salad, sandwich, fruit. Then I put the entire thing in my backpack, on top of what turned out to be a leaky water bottle. By lunch, I was faced with eating a soggy mess of lettuce soup and bread mush. It was not great. FML
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    **** brainrot

    Anonymous - 23/07/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, while playing cards, me and my boyfriend were getting super competitive and started wagering sexual stuff. His first and only choice: anal. Why only anal? All the time anal, there’s hundreds of other things to try, why do men always go straight to anal? It’s gets boring after a while. FML
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    Leg day

    NervousDog - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, at work, I dropped a dried giant millipede specimen. Horrible little legs went everywhere. Now I need to glue it back together. FML
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    You're fit but don't you know it

    Anonymous - 10/08/2025 12:00 - Canada

    Today, I was running at the gym, feeling like a fitness influencer. I increased the treadmill speed to “sprint” mode. My shoelace got caught in the belt, and I was launched backward into a rack of yoga mats, knocking them over like bowling pins. FML
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    Karma?

    Pristine-Praline-977 - 02/09/2025 15:00

    Today, it's been 5-ish years since I bought my condo. Last year, my washer became unbalanced and flooded my entire place and I had to do a total remodel. Everyone said, “What a freak accident, nothing like this will happen again!” Today the hot water supply line to the sink burst and flooded my condo. What did I do in a past life? FML
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    Night terror

    Freaked OUT - 06/09/2025 03:00 - Canada - Windsor

    Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
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    Not helping

    Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

    Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML
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    Squeak day

    Nathalie - 30/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I wore new shoes to work. They squeaked with every single step on the office building's lino floor. People thought it was funny at first, but then I had to walk across the entire office to the printer, going "squeak, squeak, squeak" for 45 seconds straight. By the time I got back, my nickname was now apparently “Squeaker of the house.” FML
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    Breaking news

    Anonymous - 08/10/2025 00:00

    Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML
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    Get on with it

    Fred - 13/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
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    Stinky

    Anonymous - 16/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I spent an hour blaming my dog for a weird smell in the house. I even gave him a lecture about “being a good boy.” I later realized the smell was coming from the ham and cheese omelet I'd left in the microwave two days ago. FML
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    Wakey wakey

    Anonymous - 24/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
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    Overrun

    Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

    Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML
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    I'm so tired

    Anonymous - 07/11/2025 22:00

    Today, my husband yelled at me for asking him to get the kids ready for school after he got off work. He works overnights, so I figured that since he's already awake, he can help out, since I'm not a morning person at all. Apparently he needs sleep "IMMEDIATELY" once he gets off work. FML
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    Mental health day

    He needs help! - 18/11/2025 15:00

    Today, my husband is furious with me for going behind his back and getting our son a psychological evaluation. His primary care physician, a psychologist, and a pediatric psychiatrist all agree that our son is AuDHD. My husband says no because he “doesn’t believe in that crap.” FML
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    Casual

    Carrie - 08/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I attempted a casual jog in my neighborhood. Halfway through, my shoelace snapped, and I tripped, skidding across someone’s lawn. The homeowner rushed out, not to help, but to ask why I was “attacking” their grass. FML
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    Cute

    Zai Sensei - 13/12/2025 12:00

    Today, an anonymous complaint got me not only in the brink of getting fired, but also possible incarceration. I'm a preschool teacher. What happened? As I saw my students off, one of my students suddenly gave me a kiss goodbye (on the lips) as she happily ran off. Someone who saw that probably wasn't pleased. FML
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    Here comes trouble…

    Anonymous - 20/12/2025 12:00

    Today, while high, I accidentally sent a pizza to my ex-girlfriend's house instead of my apartment. She has a restraining order out on me. This is bad. FML
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    Doggy dog world

    wouaf - - France - Voiron

    Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
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    Quaint and grounded

    Anonymous - 16/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I broke the cheap-ass bed in a holiday cottage. All I did was lay down on the bastard, I wasn’t having sex on it and I’m not overweight, but all the supports under the mattress snapped. The owner says I need to pay, and now I don’t have a bed for the rest of my holiday. FML
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    No, you go!

    Nervous - 17/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I've only just got my license and waved someone through at a four-way stop because I was nervous. They waved back. We both kept waving while traffic built up behind us. Someone finally honked, and we both panicked and went at the same time. I stalled the car in the intersection. FML
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    Slowly walking down the hall

    Rayray - 17/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

    Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML
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    Paper day

    bill - 20/02/2025 18:00 - United States - San Diego

    Today, it's mine and wife's one-year anniversary. After only being married for a year, I quickly understood what her father really meant when he said, "Your problem now" and chuckled at our wedding. FML
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    Notice me, please

    Anonymous - 26/02/2025 19:00 - Australia

    Today, three people commented on my new haircut. The one I got about two weeks ago. FML
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    Slapstick delivery

    KLO65 - 14/03/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

    Today, after I ordered a large package online, it arrived with a massive dent. I called customer service to complain, but when the customer service guy asked for a photo, I went to grab my phone to take the picture. I tripped, dropped my phone, and recorded a video of me swearing loudly. I ended up sending the video along with the complaint. FML
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    Rock on!

    Anonymous - 17/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

    Today, I took a selfie at a concert with the stage in the background. As I tilted my head to get the perfect angle, I knocked over the guy in front of me’s beer. He turned around just in time to see me dripping in weak piss beer, and my selfie became a snapshot of my humiliation. FML
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    Always ready

    Anonymous - 13/04/2025 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

    Today, I'm working remotely. Every morning at 8:30, all staff announces, "Morning, I'm online" in a chat app. I woke up two minutes before work began and accidentally typed, "Morning, I'm awake." The app showed two other staff members (including the boss) typing their messages then suddenly they stopped. They'd seen my message. FML
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    Main character syndrome

    What girl gets wet for Nickelback? - 18/04/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, I started playing the piano at a party. I've been playing for 15 years, so naturally I'm pretty good. I got halfway through a song before getting shown up by some douche who started playing Nickelback on the guitar. Fucking Nickelback. FML
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    Weird vibes

    Anonymous - 25/04/2025 22:00 - United States - New Orleans

    Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML
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    Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML
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    Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
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    Today, I opened my blinds to see the front yard littered with trash. My neighbor's cat ripped our trash bags open and smeared them all over the lawn. Since it was my turn to take out the trash this week, my family decided I would be the one cleaning up too. FML
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    Today, my daughter tried to argue with me that Scandinavia isn’t a real place. She’s 17. FML
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    Today, my teenage son informed me that when he’s too lazy to walk to the bathroom, he uses the kitchen sink as a toilet. I use that sink every day to wash vegetables for my family's dinner. He doesn't see a problem with this. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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