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    : 320



    Shady

    elitch - 02/06/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I was put on unpaid medical leave against my will. I’m not sick, nor am I injured. I talked with HR and they can’t cancel it. FML
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    Enjoy the ride

    Anonymous - 29/06/2025 11:00 - United States - Sacramento

    Today, I found out my boyfriend is a sex addict, so now I don’t know if he even actually likes me, or if it’s just that I’m “adventurous.” FML
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    Smooth moves

    Clumsy - 05/07/2025 00:00 - France - Paris

    Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML
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    Smooth moves

    Anonymous - 15/07/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, in a nightclub packed with people, I enthusiastically went in for a handshake with someone but they went for a fist bump. We both ended up doing the awkward “Pull back and retry” dance for a solid five seconds. I think I just lost all credibility. FML
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    Vacation breaker

    Mommys boy - 23/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Galveston

    Today, I joined an impromptu work video meeting from a family vacation but forgot to change my display name from “Mom’s iPad.” For the entire hour, everyone called me “Mom” and I didn’t understand why they were calling me that. Once I realized what was going on, it was too late, so I’m officially “Mom” at work now. FML
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    Classic mistake

    暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

    Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
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    Let it go

    Anonymous - 20/08/2025 02:00 - United States - Des Moines

    Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
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    Booby trapped

    Anonymous - 22/08/2025 02:00

    Today, my girlfriend’s dad is a doomsday prepper, but not an in-your-face type, he’s a nice guy. He let us borrow his forest cabin for a holiday but unfortunately I spent the first 10 minutes of the holiday upside down in one of his net traps while she phoned him, asking how to get me down safely. FML
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    Don't **** with the big mouse

    No more Disney - 23/09/2025 00:00

    Today, my wife has locked herself in the bedroom crying because I said I didn't want to go to Disney for a vacation this year. We have been to Disney eight times in five years. Every vacation, it's Disney, Disney, Disney! I'm fucking sick of Disney! FML
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    Happy?

    Anonymous - 30/09/2025 03:00

    Today, the love of my life told me she no longer wants to be with me. Two kids and a happy life thrown away. Today I realised that nothing is forever. FML
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    Preppers

    I tried - 09/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML
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    Greg

    Not Greg - 27/10/2025 15:00

    Today, it was my first day. HR handed me a badge with my photo and… someone else’s name printed in big letters. I spent the whole morning being introduced as “Greg” to people who said, “Nice to meet you Greg.” By lunch I’d corrected maybe 3 people and reinforced everyone else’s assumption that my real name was Greg. FML
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    Health hazard

    Anonymous - 12/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
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    Doomerism

    Karmen - 01/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I learned that my country has canceled all our offshore wind farms, putting the fight against the climate crisis back probably fifty years. When I told my husband, he said, "Good, we don't want to be the beached whale capital of the world". THE CLIMATE CRISIS, PEOPLE! FML
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    I've changed my mind

    Fatima - 27/01/2025 21:00 - United States

    Today, I invited a guy I'd met online once to a concert of an artist we both like. His response was, “Well, it depends. Do you weigh less than when I first met you?” FML
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    I'm sorry

    Pete - 29/01/2025 22:00 - Australia - Perth

    Today, I spent 20 minutes practicing a heartfelt apology to my girlfriend for forgetting our anniversary. When I finally delivered it, she stared at me blankly and said, “Our anniversary is next week.” Now I’ve apologised for nothing, and she knows I’ll probably forget the actual date. FML
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    I am lost, I think

    Anonymous - 13/02/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I walked into a store, grabbed a shopping cart, and started browsing. After 15 seconds, I realized I was in the wrong store. The cashier watched as I awkwardly returned my cart and walked out like I totally meant to do that. FML
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    Valentine's truth

    Anonymous - 14/02/2025 22:00 - Germany

    Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML
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    Congratulations anyway!

    Anonymous - 28/02/2025 21:00 - United States - Rockford

    Today, I got a great raise and a bonus but I have to celebrate in silence. So much hard work and dedication that I'm proud of, but I wish I could share the news with someone. FML
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    Hero complex

    Anonymous - 27/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

    Today, I was walking through a Tesco's car park when I saw a shopping trolley slowly rolling towards me. I figured I’d be a hero and stop it before it hit a car. As I grabbed it, I slipped on a patch of ice and crashed straight into the cart, sending right it into the car I was trying to protect, denting the door. FML
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    Gimme a break

    Respect the handyman - 01/04/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

    Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
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    Nervous introvert of the day

    Anonymous - 18/04/2025 03:00 - Pakistan - Karachi

    Today, it was a bad day. I had a crush on a classmate, but he switched schools a month ago. We started to develop a good relationship when it happened, and he came to our party on Friday, we even had a good conversation. But he visited school today, and I ignored him. I should've waved hi, but I didn't because I was busy. FML
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    Rise and shine (again)

    Tired - 21/04/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, my anxiety-ridden body decided that a good time to have a random panic attack for no reason at all would be when I was trying to go to sleep. Guess I'll stay awake, then. FML
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    False advertising

    Anonymous - 25/04/2025 03:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

    Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML
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    Crunchy

    Anonymous - 26/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Benson

    Today, I was running late for work, so I grabbed a cheap sandwich from a gas station. As I rushed to take a bite, I bit into something unexpectedly hard. I thought it was a tough bit of bacon, or some sort of nut, but realized it was a small plastic fork that had been helpfully hidden inside my sandwich. I'd already swallowed half of it. FML
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    Dial back the passion

    David - 16/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

    Today, during a job interview on Zoom, I tried to sound passionate and said, “I eat marketing for breakfast.” The interviewer then asked what I have for lunch. I panicked and said, “Analytics… and sometimes interns.” I haven’t heard back yet. FML
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    Loitering

    Anonymous - 05/06/2025 06:00 - Singapore - Singapore

    Today, I forgot my keys when going out. Now I have to wait at the door for my family, standing in the cold for half an hour. My phone is dying, and neighbors keep giving me pitying looks. It's so awkward. FML
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    Lost

    Anonymous - 06/06/2025 20:00 - Canada

    Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML
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    How is this my problem?

    Anonymous - 10/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom - Beckton

    Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML
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    Today, despite living healthy and being only 40, I have such pathologically cold feet that I can only ever be comfortable while either having them on a hot water bottle or taking a vigorous walk. Everything else feels about as cosy as standing in ice water. FML
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    Today, I mistook a little girl for a boy. Unfortunately, I only realised my mistake until after I'd cut her hair. FML
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    Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML
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    Today, it's been two years since I got a Dobermann as a gift for my husband. For two years he has cried non-stop, constantly played with his privates, reeked of dead corpse, and used shit to mark the entire yard. He cries all night long. I haven’t slept in two years. I think I have sleep deprivation. My husband says he must stay. FML
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    Today, I twisted my ankle on a mole hill in front of my house. I regularly try to stomp them down so I guess this was retribution. Well played, mole. Well played. FML
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    Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that, "Old people are allowed to tell the truth." FML
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