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Inside job

By Anonymous - 15/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers were always too nice, and I thought it was suspicious. I asked my boss why my shifts were vanishing and she finally that admitted everyone thinks I’m “too slow.” So the niceness was fake and I was the inside joke the whole time. I quit on the spot… then remembered I’m a broke uni student with no backup plan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 389

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 178

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 113

Awkward

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 12:00

Today, I told my boyfriend about something that had happened “after you came to our school." He told me he'd gone to our school for every grade. I'd just never noticed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 437

Test run

By Naughty! - 17/12/2025 12:00

Today, I took my new dog to a hotel lobby to test his manners before travel. He sniffed politely, then sneezed a dramatic snot-spritz all over a wedding guest’s dress. She froze, then laughed nervously while I offered napkins like a panicked but well-meaning emergency worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 418

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 20:00

Today, after my cute girlfriend got out of the shower and was walking over to our bed. I asked, "Now that you're all clean, want to sit on my face?" To which she replied, "Ya sure, I've not gone poop yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 230

D'oh!

By Anonymous - 02/01/2026 09:00

Today, I checked the mail. It was New Year's Day. I didn't realize my mistake until someone else pointed it out and I let out a "D'oh!" like Homer Simpson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 264

Freakout

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 22:00

Today, my daughter learned a new phrase: “Sleep Paralysis Demon.” It was exactly as bad as you’re imagining, she sobbed for almost 15 minutes, and that's a very long time when the tears and screaming are constant and without a pause. The neighbours knocked on the door because they were worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 70

Klutz

By Erin Duncan - 09/01/2026 12:00

Today, my klutziness reached a new level. I was walking down a flight of stairs, sneezed, and proceeded to fall down, scraping the crap out of my knees and spraining my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 69

Check where you're posting

By Lauren - 18/01/2026 09:00

Today, I typed a vulnerable “I miss you” text to my ex at 1 a.m., stared at it, and meant to delete it. Instead I hit send… to our old family group chat, which still had his mother and my aunt in it. My phone blew up with dumb sympathy, a single eggplant emoji from my cousin, and a lecture from his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 450

Happy anniversary?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 02:00 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 144

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 104

Just awesome

By Anonymous - 26/02/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Ferrieres

Today, it was my first time with my new boyfriend. I told him what an awesome body he has. He seemed a little embarrassed and stuttered, "Uh, well, uh, you have nice eyes." Goodbye self esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 139

As usual

By jadakorn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got home and threw my phone onto my bed as usual. This time it bounced out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 426

You deserved it 29 694

HELP!

By David - 18/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 92

Big head

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 13:00 - Lebanon

Today, it was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was invited to her surprise party and we got there before she arrived. When she came in, she asked the waiters where her friends were, then said, “I saw your head at the end of the restaurant.” She mentioned my head multiple times. I have a big head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 125

Too late to take it back

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 16:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I texted my cousin to ask if he and his wife got the baby onesie I sent, as they are expecting their first child together. Turns out they got it, but it upset his wife as she had recently lost the baby. No one had told me before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 72

It's a surprise alright

By Taylor - 20/06/2025 12:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my best friend. I told her to “be home by 7 for a little surprise.” She got home at 6:55… with her new boyfriend. Surprise: he hadn’t been invited. Awkward family introductions followed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 108

Pesky wildlife

By PH… - 02/07/2025 16:00 - United States - Midland

Today, I have horrible heartburn (as opposed to wonderful) so I went to pick my fresh Aloe vera for treatment… and saw it was all chewed up by wildlife, who apparently also have heartburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 122

Choose your family wisely

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 22:00 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today, did you ever ask yourself if someone loves you? I have, so many times, and my answer is always nobody. I live with my grandma and my sister; my sister has one boyfriend from Russia, and my grandma has sex every night, and I feel invisible. Only my neighbor makes me feel like a real family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 144

They don't make em as they used to

By Kylie - 22/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was at the grocery store. I bent to get some dog food off the bottom shelf and felt my pants tear. My jeans split right across the back seam, showing everyone I was wearing a pink thong under them. I had to ditch my cart and leave as I had no way to cover myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 147

Harness your hopes

By Debz - 24/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my boyfriend took me to a restaurant for lunch and said, “It’s time we talk about our future.” I got all emotional, thinking he was going to propose. Instead, he calmly told me he’s moving to another country. I cried into my breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 95

Intense humming

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, while using a public bathroom, I was singing to myself because I thought I was alone and not in a rush. When I opened the door, three people were waiting in line. One of them rushed in behind me, another seemed really annoyed, and the third person said, "I love that song!", confirming that they heard everything FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 535

We meet again (somewhat)

By Tracey - 09/09/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I ran to hug my best friend at the airport after not seeing her for two years. I sprinted, arms wide, yelling her name. Turns out it wasn’t her. It was a stranger with the same haircut who looked absolutely horrified as I body-slammed them in baggage claim. My actual friend was behind me, trying to film the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 404

Goddamn sky rats

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 107

How could you?

By Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00

Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 87

Triggered

By Ouch - 06/10/2025 20:00

Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 183

Spoiler warning

By Third Wing - 12/10/2025 03:00

Today, I started a new fantasy romance novel. It was very interesting, but then later I read the plot on Wikipedia and spoiled not just the book but the whole series for myself. Why do I do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 552

Brainrot

By Tired mom - 18/10/2025 00:00

Today, I came home from work to a shouting match between my husband and my teenage son. What were they so riled up about? I'm still not quite sure. Something about the podcaster who was shot recently, and whether his wife is now "grifting" or not. I actually used the phrase, "Go outside and touch grass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 95

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 102

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I agreed to spend the evening walking around an antique tractor show for my dad and sons, but I’m bleeding too much to stay out of the bathroom more than an hour. I’m violently ill from it, and I already have a bum knee and asthma, so I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 149

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 3 557

Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 381

Today, my Google Home decided the TV told it to play 'Despacito'. It didn't. Google then decided I wasn't yelling at it to turn it off. I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 374

Today, a customer at work asked me to ring her a taxi. The phone number she gave me was for a company 250 miles away. The woman on the other end thought I was deranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 894

Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 018

You deserved it 8 347