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By Anonymous - 11/03/2015 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 3 810

Bye bye love

By unknown - 27/11/2012 18:45 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 105

You deserved it 7 367

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 266

You deserved it 3 584

By Anonymous - 24/10/2010 19:29 - United States

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 029

You deserved it 37 699

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 285

You deserved it 7 816

That's on you

By eldar90 - 25/02/2012 21:38 - Israel

Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 153

You deserved it 2 400

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 17:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 399

You deserved it 5 803

By brownieswillneverbethesame - 04/09/2011 06:18 - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 162

You deserved it 2 481

By Anonymous - 30/10/2015 22:22 - United States - Saint Peters

Today, I finally stood up to the guy who's been bullying me for the last 2 years. Even though he's been caught in the act several times, he never gets punished, so I figured I'd get away with gut-punching him. Nope. An hour later, I was suspended from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 2 654

By vron991 - 13/05/2012 05:02 - United States - Wilmington

Spicy

Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 633

You deserved it 2 747

TMI

By PatientInWaiting - 19/03/2012 10:37 - United States

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 242

You deserved it 2 495

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 457

You deserved it 3 895

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 16:07 - Canada

Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 279

You deserved it 7 464

By boipucci - 22/04/2016 01:04 - United States - East Brunswick

Spicy

Today, my drug dealer was the only one who wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 605

You deserved it 6 381

boipucci tells us more.

boipucci 1

Friday 22 April 2016 19:26

OP here. Thanks to the actual birthday wishes. Didn't do anything special, but thanks nonetheless.

By fbcaught - 09/02/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 758

You deserved it 38 460

By Anon - 14/11/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 199

You deserved it 3 266

By Xandriajoy10 - 31/01/2016 03:44 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I confronted my husband about a pair of panties I found in his office. They're his. He put them on to show me that they fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 840

You deserved it 3 494

Xandriajoy10 tells us more.

Xandriajoy10 18

Monday 1 February 2016 0:24

Hey OP here. For those that have given support or made a joke, it's much appreciated. It's really helped to see the brighter side of the situation. For a little more back story; I was in his office originally looking for an envelope and found the underwear in the back of one of his drawers. We discussed it at length, I tried to make sure he felt accepted and not judged. It has helped our relationship more than I could have thought. I always wondered if he was holding something back, it's relieving to have everything out in the open. I did a little research and have found that it is common among men. As for only finding one, he showed me his 'stash' of bras and lingerie that he had hidden in his shed. Hopefully he'll be more open and honest with me about what he likes and what I can do to please him.

By Sarah - 17/08/2012 07:45 - Canada - Penhold

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read, "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 3 073

Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 107

You deserved it 50 775

Wrong un

By Jenna - 03/07/2012 23:20 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 750

You deserved it 38 845

By HAIRY - 26/04/2012 20:23 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 134

You deserved it 4 448

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 356

You deserved it 2 408

By Anonymous - 07/02/2013 06:20 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 484

You deserved it 18 199

By guyshithappensto - 22/05/2010 02:41 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 122

You deserved it 41 741

By Vexatious - 22/05/2015 16:27 - United States - Salisbury

Spicy

Today, was my first experience having sex. It was also my first experience with a condom breaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 578

You deserved it 5 148

Vexatious tells us more.

Vexatious 16

Friday 5 June 2015 20:31

Update!! Not pregnant!!!

By Anonymous - 08/04/2015 10:52 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 879

You deserved it 18 882

Busted

By Anonymous - 13/07/2009 04:02 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I'd gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said, "Your phone's been buzzing." I had a text saying, "You're grounded" from my Dad. My "Take your birth control" had been going off for a half an hour while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 31 905

Time out

By sadandmad - 20/01/2016 16:09 - United States - Bonita Springs

Spicy

Today, my husband took a pill to make him last longer in bed. He did last longer. He went from 5 minutes to 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 182

You deserved it 2 942

By Anonymous - 26/10/2010 20:34 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I had to get a tooth removed. In the middle of the procedure, the power went out. I had to sit there for an hour to wait for it to come back on. The anesthetic wore off before he started working on me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 443

You deserved it 2 705

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 842

You deserved it 6 742

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The Top

The Top

Today, I went in for an audition. Since my wrist had been in a brace all week, I felt I would be fine without it for one day because I didn't want it to be a distraction. I tripped in the middle of the dance routine and crashed on top of my injured wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 528

You deserved it 4 720

Today, a bee flew into my classroom and landed on my cheek. Not only am I allergic to these things, I was hit in the face with a textbook to "make sure it's dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 826

You deserved it 3 718

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 942

You deserved it 2 374

Today, while finally settling in our new house after months of being rejected for jobs as I lived in a rural area too far from everything, I heard back from my dream job. I was rejected because our new place is too far from the business. The old place would've been fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 300

You deserved it 222

Today, my email got hacked and sent all my contacts something for Viagra. My husband thinks I really sent it to him on purpose and now won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 179

You deserved it 3 293

Today, I'm so bored during quarantine that I'm looking forward to the virtual doctor's appointment I made for next week, about the potential erectile dysfunction I might have. I'm also 22 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 632

You deserved it 210