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    The penny drops…

    Catchy slogans trump intelligent answers i guess - 20/04/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, I had a debate at school. I had diligently studied my position, digging up historical parallels, researching the economics, and preparing citations. I lost to a guy who just yelled, "Tax the billionaires" to every question. FML
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    Home sweet home

    Anonymous - 07/06/2025 02:00 - United States

    Today, my wife yelled at me for putting away her rain coat and two sweaters that were hanging on the back of chairs. Because, “I was about to do that!” My mistake. They had only been there for a week. Ah, marital bliss. FML
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    No comment

    Framed guy - 01/08/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I said to a coworker, “Epstein didn’t kill himself” in our office, as a joke response to something he'd said. Later, someone from HR pulled me aside and said, “We don’t comment on ongoing investigations.” I work at a dog food company. FML
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    Don't freak out

    Anonymous - 25/08/2025 05:00 - United States - San Antonio

    Today, I moved cities to live with the man whose baby I gave birth to two weeks ago. I found a bra that doesn’t belong to me in the dirty laundry hamper. FML
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    Bad year

    Anonymous - 12/10/2025 12:00

    Today, after a shitty year in which I got pregnant, a miscarriage happened, then my boyfriend turned into more of asshole, which I thought it was part of the miscarriage so I stayed with him, but he kept blaming me so I broke up with him. FML
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    How could you?

    Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

    Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML
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    Do something, anything

    Anonymous - 16/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

    Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML
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    Public transportation blues

    Frankie - 08/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Dallas

    Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML
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    Body mod

    Anonymous - 25/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I got my boyfriend shirtless for the first time and I noticed that he had unusual flat nipples. I asked about it and he said that since men don’t need them and he didn’t like them making small pokies under his T-shirt, he cut them off with a razor when he was 19. Um, WHAT? FML
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    Side hustle

    Anonymous - 26/08/2025 11:00 - Canada

    Today, I came home to an orgy in my room. It appears that my parents have been renting our house out to porn studios. FML
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    Nepo baby

    Anonymous - 19/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my dad got promoted and ended up as my boss. I thought I’d finally have a manager I get along with, who could maybe throw a few perks my way. Nope. Dad was very clear that he was going to be a complete bastard to me at work to make absolutely sure no one could accuse him of favouritism. FML
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    Just another day

    Anonymous - 06/04/2025 09:00 - United States

    Today, I went to buy oat milk and got caught in an active shooter lockdown at the store. Oh, America, the only place where plant-based dairy is more accessible than mental healthcare. FML
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    Water shortage

    Anonymous - 27/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Bainbridge

    Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needs to be installed, so there's no water here either. We're now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML
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    I'm done

    Anonymous - 09/03/2025 20:00 - Canada

    Today, I was using a public restroom when the lights suddenly turned off. Panicking, I waved my arms around, trying to trigger the motion sensor, but nothing happened. I had to finish in the dark, and as I was leaving, the janitor noticed me, turned the lights back on, and said, “Yeah, I turned those off earlier to save power. Hope you were OK in there.” FML
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    Card sharp

    Anonymous - 25/05/2025 21:00

    Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML
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    No you don't

    Triangle - 06/05/2025 03:00 - United States - San Jose

    Today, my half-drunk best friend, who I share lot of hobbies with, and love hanging out with, publicly confessed her love for me, and described how her heart burns every time she sees me with my wife, who's my childhood sweetheart, and love of my life. Now I am having to choose between the two. FML
    447
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    Happy birthday, huh?

    - 19/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I told my family that for my birthday I didn’t want to do any chores and just wanted the house cleaned. What they heard was mom won’t do chores today so let’s leave them all for her tomorrow. I didn’t even have a clean mug for coffee this morning. FML
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    Another Luigi moment

    Anonymous - 16/07/2025 21:00 - United States - Acton

    Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML
    447
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    Heartwarming

    Gilbert - 04/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Buena Vista

    Today, I made a snowman with my little sister. We spent ages rolling snowballs and decorating it with a scarf and hat. When we'd finished, she hugged it so hard that it collapsed. She cried, so I promised to build another one. It’s been three hours, my fingers are numb, but her smile is worth it. FML
    447
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    What should I do?

    Taylor Montgomery - 14/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 11 years is cheating on me. I’m so numb, I don’t even know what to do. We just bought a house together last year, and we have a dog I’m not willing to let go. FML
    447
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    Just put it on, dude

    BING BING BING - 07/07/2025 16:00 - Japan - Tokyo

    Today, I started a road trip with friends. The friend who is driving doesn't wear seat belts. BING BING BING. 400 miles to go. BING BING BING. FML
    446
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    Take a seat

    Anonymous - 04/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML
    446
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    Lone wolf

    the loneliest number - 14/10/2025 20:00

    Today, it’s almost my birthday. Instead of the big fun celebration I’d hoped to have, I’ve cut ties with most of my deeply toxic friend group. I think being alone is better than being surrounded by fake friends and real enemies, but still… FML
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    Kid A

    Anonymous - 25/09/2025 09:00

    Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML
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    Someone needs a good talking to

    Anonymous - 02/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

    Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML
    446
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    Confuddled

    Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

    Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML
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    Cousin Ricky

    How about "no"? - 20/10/2025 03:00

    Today, my mom cussed at me because I denied my struggling cousin a job at my company, and now it's my fault he and his family will suffer and starve. He was fired from his former job as a payroll officer, and is now blacklisted. Over 30 people got zero on payday, as he later went Living La Vida Loca with his "bonus". FML
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    Not sponsored by Klondike bars (but feel free to send us some)

    Anonymous - 29/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Canton

    Today, I realised that on top of my gluten intolerance, garlic intolerance, and just the general having to poop way too much in 12 hours, apparently my system does not like ice cream anymore. I get diarrhea after eating any amount. And I love Klondike bars! FML
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    Kinda weird

    Cassie - 30/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I turned 15, and I am allowed to wear a bikini now, so I modeled for my family. My brother (who's 18) was really wowed when he saw me. I asked what's wrong; he said, "Nothing, which is the point. I know you're my sis, not my girlfriend, but damn you have a pretty body." Is it OK that my bro thinks I'm hot? FML
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    External validation

    Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

    Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML
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    Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML
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    Today, before I could realise what I was doing, I replied-all to an email chain about a huge company issue, saying, "FFS, this is ridiculous and moronic, and so is upper management." I’m still employed, but everyone now avoids me like I’m radioactive. FML
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    Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I'd put him on a six-month sex ban if he didn't binge watch Glee with me. He took the sex ban without hesitation. FML
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    Today, my fiancée broke up with me because I "don't know what I'm doing with my future". I've done four years in the Marines and am in the process of becoming an officer. She has a film degree which she has no interest in, works at the mall, and just moved back in with her dad. FML
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    Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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