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    : 320



    He has spoken

    Anonymous - 19/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I discovered that my deceased mother, God rot her festering soul, wrote me and only me out of her will. All my other siblings are wealthy; I’m the only one in financial trouble after my divorce. And why did mom hate me so much? Because I’m divorced and God says divorce is bad. FML
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    Let it go

    Anonymous - 20/08/2025 02:00 - United States - Des Moines

    Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
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    Take it easy

    Anonymous - 19/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Enfield

    Today, I found out that college stressed me out so much that my stomach acid now eats holes in my stomach wall. I went from, “Oh, I have a tummy ache” to “You can’t eat or drink for 24 hours because we gotta do surgery on a perforated ulcer.” FML
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    Wine about it

    Anonymous - 30/07/2025 06:00 - United States

    Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
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    Breaking news

    Anonymous - 28/03/2025 04:00 - United States - Reno

    Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML
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    Double agent

    Anonymous - 21/07/2025 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, I’ve been such an idiot. I believed everything my boyfriend told me about his ex being a bitter baby mama, keeping the kids from him, weaponizing custody, etc. Then she showed me all the messages of him making BS excuses to not even try to see his kids. He hasn’t made a visit in a year. FML
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    Chubbyemu vibes

    Anonymous - 28/01/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

    Today, it's been three months since I had a GI virus. In this time, all the tests I've done so far came out negative at the doctor's. I've changed my diet, haven't drank alcohol, nor was I a habitual drinker. The bouts of nausea and vomiting keep coming back on random days. I cannot get the right amount of nutrients. FML
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    Concentrate!

    Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML
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    Scammers gonna scam

    Leah Magers - 19/07/2025 05:00 - United States - Ames

    Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML
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    On the pull

    Anonymous - 09/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, in a bar, I had to remind my brother that the bar was not open to the public, it was booked for a private party. Our family reunion in fact, so the girl he was “this close to pulling” was actually our Welsh cousin we’d never met before. He almost became a redneck stereotype. FML
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    Jealousy

    Thought you would be happy for me, "bestie" - 13/12/2025 00:00

    Today, I proudly showed off my new body, after losing 80 pounds. My life-long best friend immediately uninvited me to her upcoming wedding, and won't explain why. FML
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    Knackered

    Fucking go away - 11/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I told my girlfriend I was exhausted and wanted a nap. She decided to join me, then got bored and started watching Instagram reels blasting the same five seconds of some awful Cardi B "song." She got pissed when I asked her to stop. FML
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    Amazing idea, idiot

    Anonymous - 31/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Augusta

    Today, my idiot redneck next door neighbor decided to throw an empty whipped cream spray can into a fire to watch it explode and scare half the neighborhood. That idiot redneck next door neighbor is also my 65 year-old dad. FML
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    Can't take my eyes off you

    Anonymous - 20/08/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, while changing into shorts because it’s scorching hot here, my four year-old found a jar of my Dad's ashes. I came out to see her feet prints in it on the kitchen floor. She'd dumped the whole jar out and was playing in it. FML
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    Pretend I'm not here

    Bad bridesmaid - 11/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Charlotte

    Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML
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    Scramble time

    Anonymous - 03/03/2025 02:00 - United States - Sullivan

    Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML
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    Sending hugs

    Anonymous - 12/08/2025 03:00 - United States - North Augusta

    Today, my mental illness hit rock bottom when I caught myself wishing I was buried next to my dog because nothing makes me happy anymore. FML
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    Hissy fit

    - 13/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I was watching our regular show on Netflix with my boyfriend. I made a remark about one of the male leads having nice abs. My boyfriend is so pathetically insecure that he threw a fit and is refusing to finish the show since he claims I find the actor more attractive than him. FML
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    Stabie genius

    Terrible Boss - - United States

    Today, I fired all 12 of my employees, purely out of anger and frustration. Realizing my mistake when I'd calmed down, I called each employee and apologized, asking if they'd come back. Only one said yes. The mailroom clerk. FML
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    Imposter syndrome?

    Overworked - 15/03/2025 03:00 - United States

    Today, after my boss thanked me for being so "reliable" all the time, I confessed to her that I have really bad anxiety, which has given me a crippling fear of disappointing her and ending up jobless. Even after reassuring me that she would never do that, the feeling is still there. I think I need therapy. FML
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    More responsibilities please!

    Anonymous - 29/07/2025 17:00 - United States

    Today, at my job as a supermarket manager, I had to break up a fight over a handicapped parking spot, in which an elderly man nearly got beaten over the head with a prosthetic leg. This wasn't what I expected when I was told I'd been promoted. FML
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    RIP little buddy

    justicia18 - 25/10/2025 22:00

    Today, after I had planned a romantic weekend for my boyfriend and me, with an itinerary of dinner, events and outings, it got cut short when he had to have his cat put down, which he had for 12 years. FML
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    Thanks Mom

    Anonymous - 29/01/2025 23:00 - Ghana

    Today, it was confirmed that I have ADHD and moderate OCD. My mom thinks I do it on purpose to seek attention. I'm shy, and I don't even like people. FML
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    Truth bomb

    Hoo boy - 09/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

    Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML
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    You seem delighted

    Anonymous - 16/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML
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    Routine

    RIP - 24/06/2025 13:00 - United States

    Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML
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    Welcome to the machine

    Lol - 31/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

    Today, after I spent the last year working overtime to prove myself at my tech job, I got an email saying I was laid off due to “strategic restructuring.” My boss posted a vacation picture right after. FML
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    Overrun

    Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

    Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML
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    Outcast

    Anonymous - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

    Today, I found out the real reason I always had trouble making/keeping friends as a kid and why I wasn’t invited to anything. My parents were aggressive swingers and either successfully fucked, or came on to, every couple wherever we moved. Thanks, you horny bastards. FML
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    Red tape

    Anonymous - 23/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I learned my application for resuming my citizenship in my home country (Australia) after being abroad for almost 12 years is being denied based on bureaucratic bullshit, and I'm going to be sent away to a country (USA), where I have no family or support, to be homeless and without the above. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my boss hired a new meat cutter because our old one stopped showing up for work. After he put the smock on, I told him what needed to be done. Without saying a word, he walks over to my boss, hands him his smock and says, "I quit." Guess I'm on my own. FML
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    Today, I got officially uninvited to a party. This is the third one this month. FML
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    Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
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    Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML
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    Today, my husband received a package in the mail containing a bottle of billiard ball cleaner for our pool table. Yes, billiard ball cleaner. I can't get that slovenly wretch to clean a toilet to save his life, but now he's determined to have the shiniest balls on the block. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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