Your everyday life stories

WorksWithMen - 26/05/2016 18:47 - United States - High Point

Today, I got a little cut on my hand. I went to the bathroom and washed it, then checked the first aid for a bandage, only to discover the box labeled "first aid" is really filled with playboys and one fell out. The boss walked up on me, the only woman working there, holding it. FML

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lame dude - 26/05/2016 17:19 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend had cheated on me numerous times few months back but that's not all, her roommate and her roommates boyfriend are good friends with the guy she cheated on me with. I now understand why they always side eye me whenever I go to her apartment. FML

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Surewhatever - 26/05/2016 17:18 - United States - Orlando

Today, my former GM finally sent in all the paperwork to transfer. The new location is the one where I had moved in with my bfs family to wait for the job. They kicked me out yesterday for not getting a job fast enough and we broke up. I then had to beg for my old job back. FML.

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my bestfriends drunk life - 26/05/2016 16:55 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my bestfriend was so drunk i had to go pick her up at the mc donalds stop light. When i saw her she came up to me, and hugged me amd was petting my head and threw up. and she continued to stroke my head saying 'shhh i puked on you its okay child' FML

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dumped - 26/05/2016 16:45 - United States - Metairie

Today, my close friend who had been asking me out for 4 months broke up with me after dating for 3 weeks. I made it known beforehand that I was only dating him because I had feelings but was nervous because we were such close friends. Definitely crushed my heart. Now, though, he wants to be fwb. FML

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a38yolady - 26/05/2016 16:43 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, after bad health and no insurance cost me everything, I had to live in my daughters shed, using a 5 gallon bucket for toilet, her spoiled rich kid boyfriend kicked me out because...... my daughter got mad at me for being ill and embarrassed in front his family with her snooty friends, FML

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apcsox - 26/05/2016 16:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it was my birthday. For the second year in a row, the most happy birthdays I got were from various apps and forums. On the bright side I get a free popcorn to the movies and I think a small sub from D'angelo. FML.

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emmq - 26/05/2016 16:10 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, it was my first day at my new job. At the interview before, the interviewer mixed up my age with someone else's, so when I told him my correct age, he thought I was nuts and marked me as "mentally ill." Now everybody here is treating me weird and thinks that I need serious help. FML

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Waldo345 - 26/05/2016 16:05 - United States - North Brunswick

Today, I was outed. I'm 43 years old and have been in the closet since I realized I was gay in the 6th grade. Always kept my interests to myself. Well, I left my phone unlocked on the bar, went the bathroom and my Grindr account went crazy. A "friend" looked at it and now everyone knows. FML

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CliffyB03 - 26/05/2016 16:03 - United States - Clairton

Today, after being away for a week, I come home only to find dirty counters, no silverware, a sink full of dishes, and dirty floors. There were 3 men here, and all of which wouldn't clean up because it's a "woman's job." FML

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Kira1965 - 26/05/2016 15:38 - Canada - Oliver

Today, I woke up to the sound of the gardener mowing our lawn. We don't have a gardener. Some stranger mowed our lawn and we haven't a clue who he was. FML

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Masser - 26/05/2016 15:10 - Romania

Today, my dad accused me of using various types of drugs, and that I will never achieve anything in my life. Just because I didn't reply to him fast enough on Whatsapp. FML

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Free Show - 26/05/2016 14:47 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I put on my graduation dress that I tried on a few days prior, I realized not soon after putting it on that when I sit down the dress isn't long enough to cover my ass...FML.

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so_this_is_me - 26/05/2016 14:43 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I fell asleep during a presentation about sleep deprivation. FML

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chunkymcchunkface - 26/05/2016 14:33 - United States

Today, well, last night, I woke up feeling as though I was about to puke. I rushed over to my trash can and blew chunks, then returned to bed, too tired to clean up. This morning I remembered that my trash can is a wicker basket. Strained vomit anyone? FML

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yaakovb18 - 26/05/2016 14:10 - United States - Washington

Today, I got to my construction site where my job is to vacuum up a 3" layer of water that is covering the entirety of a 1000 square foot basement. Last week when I had left the job I had nearly finished cleaning up all the water. It rained this weekend and flooded the whole thing back up again. FML

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ScaredyCat - 26/05/2016 14:06 - Netherlands - Zwaag

Today, my anxiety is so bad I'm afraid to leave the house despite an important appointment because my crazy roommate is home and I'm afraid to confront him. FML

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IamHM - 26/05/2016 13:35 - United States - Albuquerque

Today I went to visit a friend in the hospital. She wasn't there yet because she was taken to get some tests done, so I sat in a chair and dozed off. Next thing I know there's an old lady standing over me with her chest falling out of her hospital gown. I'm straighter than I ever was before. FML

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anonymous - 26/05/2016 13:22 - United States - Rochester

Today, my fiancé broke up with me a week before our wedding, why. Her cat told her to. Fml

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Not Teen Parent - 26/05/2016 13:03 - United States - Laurel

Today, an insane woman followed me and my infant daughter around the supermarket, screeching that teenage parents should kill their babies. I'm 28. FML

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georg20 - 26/05/2016 12:49 - Australia

Today, I got home from work to my mom saying "we're going on a family holiday!!" I replied with "oh cool, where to?", she then says "Oh you aren't coming" FML

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band_geek - 26/05/2016 12:28 - United States

Today, I was playing Flag Football with my friends. During one of the plays while on the D-Line, I ran into one of the Offense girls and collided heads on hard enough to get a nose bleed. Now, my boyfriend won't talk to me because people accuse him of being abusive when seeing us together. FML

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w0lfie1221 - 26/05/2016 12:20 - United States - Havertown

Today, my six year old son was yelling to me from outside the house. Frustrated because I could not hear him, I told him to come into my office. Turns out, he had stepped in dog poop and was asking about the location of the hose.

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WhyWhyWhyWhyWhy - 26/05/2016 11:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on my first day as a home health care provider, I walked into my first clients house to find out he had pulled out his catheter, which he was convinced was an "alien magic tube" and was gleefully peeing all over himself and his home. FML.

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birdie girl - 26/05/2016 11:04 - United States - York

Today, I realized I have taken more showers with my parrot than my boyfriend. Fml

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Anonymous - 26/05/2016 07:54 - Israel - Hod Hasharon

Today. I caught such a bad cold I decided to stay at my parents house for a few days and rest. Instead of my mom taking care of me and making me tea and soup, she got mad that I wasn't feeling well enough to talk to her and went to answer her e-mails. FML.

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Anonymous - 26/05/2016 07:44 - United States - Benson

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner because my gym membership wasn't supposed to be taken out of my bank account until the 1st. We haven't been on a date in months. The gym took the money out early and my debit card was declined at dinner. FML

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brittanyjane530 - 26/05/2016 07:08 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I got asked "what do you do to get your body like that?" as I went to answer she continued with "just eat evetything in sight? i'm trying to gain some curves." uhhh FML.

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WhatsNewPussyCat - 26/05/2016 07:02 - United States - Charleston

Today, I've finally begun to realize that my boyfriend calls his cat more relationship pet-names in all of our Skype calls than he ever has me. I've been one upped by a sassy torbie tabby cat. FML

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Help me, im single - 26/05/2016 06:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while messaging this guy I like on Facebook, I learned that you can set an emoji as the name of your conversation. Seeing as I want to get with him, I put the heart eye emoji. I didn't know he could see it until he messaged me "we're just friends." FML.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I've realized that my cat doesn't give me the time of day, unless I'm trying to do something that's difficult with a cat present, or at the very least makes it impossible for me to give him attention. Then he's all over me. It's a vicious cycle, with no end in sight. FML

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Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

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Today, my mom was "that" customer at the local drive-thru. She slipped into attention whore mode and bitched the guy out for not giving us extra fries. He said she didn't ask for any, which was true. Instead of apologizing, she swore at him and floored the gas, sending our drinks spilling all over me. FML

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Today, not even a month into the new semester, I have a hearing at the Dean’s office for academic dishonesty. My classmate and “friend” who I’ve been doing online quizzes with at home (considered cheating) decided to throw me under the bus, all because I wouldn’t let her borrow $100. FML

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Today, I am a Frenchie who's been in England for two months. While wanting to say to my technician that my manager made me groan during our meeting, I said that he made me moan. Now he keeps looking at me with a grin on his face. FML

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Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

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