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Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 116

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 18/10/2025 12:00

Today, after years of no contact, my brother texted me for my birthday. I replied, "You and your son are doing great I hope!" I then came to find out that he hasn't seen his son in 500 days and his ex refuses to let him see his son, since she has full custody and he is back on drugs. I didn't know and was genuinely hoping for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 82

Awesome

By Jadwiga - 27/08/2025 20:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 180

PERVERTS!

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 20:00

Today, my dad decided that the opportunity to screw his new girlfriend in a church cemetery in daylight hours was more important than being on time to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 71

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 133

Quite right

By Dodged a nuke. - 08/09/2025 03:00 - Mexico

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to give her my phone's passcode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 190

Demotion

By Demoted - 25/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I realized my (soon to be ex) boyfriend has been preemptively sending me his Snaps as regular chat photos/videos on Snapchat so our interaction could go down. This way, he can have the girl he’s been cheating on me with become his #1 best friend, thus demoting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 107

Antisocial

By Hope he chokes - 10/01/2026 03:00

Today, my asswipe coworker yet again microwaved some disgusting fish dish at work, stinking out the break room for days. If we say anything, he runs to HR and complains of "racism" and "hostile work environment." God, I sound like a disgusting Trump-sucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 183

Statistics

By Trish - 02/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went on a virtual date with someone I met on a hyper-personalized dating app. It turns out that the app matched me with my ex. Again. Because, apparently, “statistically, you two have so much in common, and also unresolved issues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 102

Never felt more lonely

By Anonymous - 29/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 250

Leg day

By NervousDog - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, at work, I dropped a dried giant millipede specimen. Horrible little legs went everywhere. Now I need to glue it back together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 118

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 02:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 71

Lonesome tonight

By FriendzonedAFBoi - 23/03/2025 19:00 - United States

Today, I realized that in order to get a girl, I have to lose 100lbs and/or get facial reconstruction. If I meet a girl, we get close, I do everything to make her happy, only to be told, “I only like you as a friend.” I also get told that I’d make a “great boyfriend” yet they don’t choose me. Being overlooked sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 342

Bulked up

By Angie - 06/01/2026 09:00

Today, my mother-in-law invited herself to my house to cook lunch. I'm postpartum, depressed, and nursing a two-week old. She fed me four small shrimp and a handful of macaroni. This is what I'll be eating for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 78

More cheese

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, one of the kids looked at me very seriously and asked, “Why do you have sad eyes like my dad did after he lost all his money?” I don’t even know the kid’s dad. I just wanted to make mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 82

Make it happen (RIP)

By Dyne mk.III - 02/11/2025 00:00

Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 99

Streaker alert!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 91

Pest control

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 90

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 504

Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 104

Doggy dog world

By No way, dog - 01/10/2025 00:00

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 90

Weird

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 00:00

Today, to anyone else who thinks court can be weird, I say this: I just had to testify in court about my penis because it was relevant to the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 88

Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 74

Discord and discontent

By Anonymous - 06/12/2025 22:00

Today, I woke up to find myself permanently banned from Discord for “minimum age requirements.” I’m 20. Yesterday, someone on Discord DM’d me asking me how many eggs were in a dozen and I answered by saying 12, and the next day my account is banned. Discord will not reinstate my account, even after appealing the ban. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 91

Cats hate romance

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I made a heart-shaped pancake for my girlfriend as a surprise Valentine's Day breakfast. I flipped it too hard, and it landed on my cat. The cat then ran around the house with a pancake cape, and the surprise was ruined by the cat bolting into the bedroom, waking my girlfriend up, who's not a morning person at the best of times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 170

Rough night

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 00:00

Today, I went to bed early, proud of myself for being responsible. However, I lay there wide awake replaying every awkward moment from the past ten years, including things no one else can possibly remember. I checked the clock at 3:47 AM and had to wake up at 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 97

Square one

By Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 149

Nervous

By Anonymous - 12/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I sat down to discuss wanting a promotion and ended up getting so nervous that I broke down crying in front of my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 158

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 113

Weird encounter

By No date for me - 29/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. When I arrived, the guy looked nothing like his profile picture. We started chatting, and things were going fine until he asked, “So, what do you think about my date?” I replied, “Uh, I think it’s going well!” He responded, “I was talking about the waitress. I’m married.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 129

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The Top

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey, except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 452

You deserved it 5 586

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 791

You deserved it 4 721

Today, my husband insists he'll be able to make a career out of playing League of Legends. He says this with only $4 in our bank account because of his last brilliant career move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 867

You deserved it 658

Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 136

You deserved it 8 407

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 738

You deserved it 3 737

Today, my roommate told me she's coming back from her family's large house in Reno to Hawaii, because she "wants to work." We have a 14-day visitor's quarantine. And my workplace extended this to travellers' roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 132