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Bad timing

By Tracey - 25/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 140

What did you expect?

By Not Marge - 22/11/2025 09:00

Today, my husband is hurt and upset that our daughter legally changed her name the day she turned 18. I had to ask him, as nicely as I could, what the hell he expected when he named her Lisa and her last name is Simpson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 165

Buddy boy

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 09:00

Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 51

I'm never going to live this down

By BubbleBladeBunz - 01/09/2025 15:00

Today, there's no door between the bathroom and bedroom. So far we've managed all number 2 s(h)ituations without trouble, but I'm on my period, which comes with period poops. He usually sleeps like the dead. I was mid-evacuation of a multi-missile launch when he sat up, wide awake, eye contact, grin on his face. "Hah! I KNEW YOU'D BE THE FIRST!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 110

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 443

FIRE!

By Kav - 13/01/2026 12:00

Today, the fire alarm went off at my apartment. I rushed out but forgot to grab a coat, so I hopped in my car and fired it up, figuring I'd wait it out. A fireman knocked on my window and loudly asked me to get out, then wrote me a citation for "improper fire alarm protocols." That's a thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 95

Public spectacle

By Veronica - 22/10/2025 15:00

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 84

Here we go again

By Change my number - 07/10/2025 20:00

Today, I discovered that my direct work number is Googleable to the public. This was brought to my attention when my extremely toxic ex called me wanting to rekindle our dead relationship. I just have to ignore the ankle monitor, continued addiction issues, and police charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 63

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 123

Support needed

By Rick - 04/04/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, when I tried to talk about how I feel insecure, my fiancee ranted about how supportive she always is of me. Her idea of supportive is to say, "Oh, you'll be fine! You're amazing!", then get back on her phone or turn up the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 96

Probably

By Brittany - 12/01/2026 22:00

Today, I caught my husband making out with our nanny. I had hired her in the first place because I didn’t see her as a threat. She’s 19 year-old chubby girl with glasses. Is he out of his goddamn mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 286

In this economy?

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 188

Lemons

By Leah Magers - 29/12/2025 22:00

Today, my husband and I were finally about to put our house on market because we have killed our savings on moving and two mortgages for the past couple of months. Then the pipes burst. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 60

Wheeler dealer

By htiek - 07/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Thornhill

Today, my wife ripped my head off because my brother-in-law is buying a commercial office building in Moncton and I wasn’t the agent that found him the property. I sell commercial real estate in GTA. I don’t even know where Moncton is on a map. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 114

Toxic workplace

By Keerah - 31/08/2025 13:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at work, I wondered: What's worse than a psychotic, gaslighting supervisor with his classic "You are worthless!" and "I never said/did that!" and other variations? A combination of said character with an autistic employee who panics at every such situation to the brink of peeing themself. I hate being that employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 127

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 347

Ewwwwwww

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 15:00 - China - Guangzhou

Today, on my way home from school, I accidentally stepped on a dead rat. That gross squishy feeling and the sound of its bones cracking… I'm never going to forget that for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 82

Street cred

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 67

Ashes to ashes

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 125

Thanks, Canada!

By Cough Cough - 06/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

Today, just like every other day, I live in the Midwest. If you're not living in the Midwest, and you're wondering how we're doing with the Canadian wildfire smoke, I'm here to tell you that we're quite miserable. Especially if you're me, a person who already has very janky lungs. I'm afraid to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 104

Never do this

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 15:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 443

Where am I?

By I hate myself - 21/06/2025 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I thought I was going to a friend’s birthday party. Turns out, it was a surprise party for someone else... and I was the surprise. Everyone shouted “Surprise!” and I realized I wasn’t invited. I awkwardly ate a cupcake and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 101

Wax on, wax off

By Anonymous - 19/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband asked me to wax his ass crack for him. It might have been funny or maybe even a kinky experience a few years ago, but now I had to navigate the wax around his haemorrhoid, which did start bleeding. I don’t get why he even wanted a smooth crack at our age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 102

Stop staring

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 21:00 - China - Suzhou

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 124

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 230

Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

By Rizuki_Tsurai - 02/04/2025 06:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 125

For science!

By Jefferson - 01/11/2025 22:00

Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 75

Time sensitive

By Landin - 12/05/2025 16:00 - United States - Vernal

Today, my girlfriend left me at 11pm after leading me on for 5 months, all because she lost interest. I wasted so much time, money, and emotions on her, and never received them from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 280

The absolute betrayal

By rejected - 03/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my ex is sleeping in the basement for a few days until he can find a new place. All three of my cats would rather snuggle with him on the couch, even though two of them hate each other. None want to be with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 184

Cutthroat

By Glume - 05/04/2025 17:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 167

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The Top

Today, my mum found out I had a girl in my room and faked a heart attack. I know it was fake because she did the same when I came out as lesbian, when I invited a girl to prom, when I asked dad for advice on sex. I get it mum, you’re a homophobe, so stop faking heart attacks, it’s bad for the NHS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 142

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 457

You deserved it 7 433

Today, I’ve never been in a relationship during which I wasn’t cheated on. Not that I seek the wrong kind of partner, I usually end up finding out, catching me by surprise. Mentally stable women don’t think I exist. Most of the sane girls I have known have unfollowed me since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 229

Today, my child told me when she makes enough money to support herself, she's never going to speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 869

You deserved it 1 190

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 310

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and go out with a guy who’s not my usual type. He spent the whole date griping and complaining about how women never go for “nice guys” like him. When I pointed out we were currently on a date, he said, “I mean hot girls.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 117