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Blasphemy

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 12:00

Today, while reorganising my very extensive book collection, I found my 16th century Bible had about 15 pages glued together with what I suspect is 30 year-old raspberry jam. My son might be 36 years-old now but he’s going to get it when I see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 369

Just not with me

By NotMeFML - 07/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I found out that the girl I went on a date with, and refused to sleep with me because she, “doesn’t have sex on the first date” had no qualms about sleeping with my buddy on his first date with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 331

Routine

By RIP - 24/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, two years after marrying my fun, adventurous fiancée, she's turned into a whiny, nagging bore. Date nights are now "eat leftovers and watch reality TV nights" and sex is once a month, with her asking, "Are you about to finish? Are you almost done?" the whole way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 163

Wankers!

By Whoops - 28/06/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 177

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 12:00

Today, I realized that if I run out of cigarettes my husband wants nothing to do with me, and when he hits me during a mental breakdown it's all my fault cause I had it coming. He's 40 and acts like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 141

You get what you give

By Anonymous - 28/12/2025 22:00

Today, to my horror, I discovered that my husband is cheating on me. My friends and family refuse to support me, stating that, "He cheated on his ex-wife with you, what did you expect?" I honestly thought he was my soulmate and that's why I pursued him. Why can't anyone understand that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 1 191

She works hard for the money…

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy asked me out. I accepted and gave him my rates for a night, as well as my cash apps. He immediately freaked out and said, “I meant on a date, you fucking weirdo.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 824

Nightmare

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have the perfect life. The best husband, two well behaved kids, a well paying job, and a happy home. But I just pick random fights with my husband, instigating him into shouting for no reason. I guess I want problems to be happy. My whole soul wants peace, except my stupid brain and hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 817

Still on the hook

By Just too submissive - 24/06/2025 22:00 - Netherlands

Today, my ex said he was coming by to get some of his stuff, and that if I wanted to talk, I should be on my knees in my best lingerie. I was furious and wrote a text telling him how awful and misogynistic he was… then deleted it, put on my best lingerie, and am now waiting by the door on my knees for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 1 059

Sitcom moment

By Stupid husband - 20/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my husband I was making a points system for him to earn sex by doing chores and favors. He said, "Okay, I'll make one for dates. Every time you go five days without whining or nagging me, you get a date." I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 889

Basic private equity tactic

By Left out - 26/08/2025 03:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, the guy I picked on in high school got his revenge. He bought out my dad's car shop above market value and then closed it. My dad doesn't care, he gets to retire early, while I get to watch something I'd hoped to inherit get torn down and sold off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 021

No more fun

By Single - 10/01/2026 12:00

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement because I told him, "I've had fun, now I want to settle down in life." According to him, our marriage should be our fun. I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah, mortgages and babies are such fun. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 825

Anti-stink measures

By Sardine man - 12/04/2025 21:00 - United States - New York

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a bunch of gift cards to Panera, Chick-fil-A, Chipotle, and other nearby fast food places, as well as an "Easy Work Lunches" cookbook. When I reacted with shock, they said, "We're all so sick of you eating cans of sardines in the break room everyday. Please eat anything else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 760

Coulrophobia

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 113

Unilateral

By puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 504

Don't hate the player…

By Bugggo - 19/03/2025 10:00 - United States

Today, my girl bestie, who I secretly have a crush on, sent me a screenshot of my girlfriend tagging me on a Facebook post, saying, “So when were you planning on telling me you have a girlfriend?” I fucking told my girlfriend not to tag me on shit in social media but she did it anyway. Now my bestie won’t talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 608

A freak out for all to bee

By death to bees - 13/04/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 858

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 423

You deserved it 440

Privacy or family?

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, it’s my first week working in a OB office. The amount of married men bringing in their pregnant sidechicks is absolutely sickening, but the worst part is one of them was my sister’s husband! I’m scared I’ll get fired if I tell her, even though he wasn’t the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 101

Blowback

By Bleh! - 07/06/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 078

Don't bite off more than you can chew

By What do I do? - 09/07/2025 15:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, and for sometime, my husband and I have been discussing owning a home - a house or an apartment or other options. I've always wanted to live in a house, but I'm 100% sure I can't keep up with the chores or keep it clean. An apartment I can manage to clean, but not a house. I told him my vote is for apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 365

Tut tut

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 00:00 - Netherlands - Tilburg

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend outside a bar, when a hand on my shoulder yanked me back. I screamed and turned to see my husband glaring at me, with his best friend behind him, recording us on his phone. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 827

Hissy fit

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 12:00

Today, I was watching our regular show on Netflix with my boyfriend. I made a remark about one of the male leads having nice abs. My boyfriend is so pathetically insecure that he threw a fit and is refusing to finish the show since he claims I find the actor more attractive than him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 157

Tales of the Unexpected

By maddyUnderstood - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I went into a job interview for Quizno's. The boss there talked to me for an hour and half about everything on God's green earth. She noticed I was a certified swim instructor. I left Quizno's with no job, but with an appointment to teach the boss how to swim tomorrow at 9 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 259

Same old, same old

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it was our 19 year wedding anniversary. When I mentioned this to my husband, all he did was grunt at me and never brought it up again for the rest of the day. I didn't get anything. No flowers, no card, no dinner, nothing. Oh, and I also had to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 188

Tax evasion

By Single4Life - 22/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 147

Parenting is sharing

By Stephanie - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, as a new mother post-partum, I was overwhelmed as fuck. I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t get my infant to stop crying. I already fed him, changed his diaper, and held him. My husband smugly told me, “Why you crying for? You were moaning, “Nut inside me, Daddy” during sex. This is what you signed up for!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 335

Chill out

By Utterly fucked - 17/04/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Stourbridge

Today, I got into a stupid argument with an internet troll, who ended up making me so furious that I threw my laptop straight through my window. My dad will be home any minute. I'm a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 009

Am I the asshole?

By Anonymous - 09/06/2025 13:00 - Romania

Today, I stayed home from work to pick up my Switch 2. As I raced into the house and prepared for the magic of unboxing it, my wife called and ruined the moment by blathering about her boring day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 137

Thanks, that helps…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2025 06:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my supervisor that it makes me feel uncomfortable when my coworker teases me by saying a special needs client is in love with me at the residential facility I work at. Her response was, “Well, he is obsessed with you. He writes your name down hundreds of times and watches you out his window." FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 100

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mom and dad went to court to negotiate child support for me and my brothers. During the meeting, my dad was asked, "Sir, are you saying that the only reason you want your sons to live with you full time is so you don't have to pay child support?" To which he responded, "Yes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 281

You deserved it 1 581

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 967

You deserved it 3 855

Today, I realized that my mother's voice triggers my misophonia. I don't have the courage to tell her that I literally hate her voice, due to a hearing disorder, because I don't know how to say it without sounding like a douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 156

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 6 749

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 2 745

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 629

You deserved it 2 730