The Top

We have been together for over 9 months, and it was actually a very romantic date. He is one of the best guys I have ever met, and I couldn't be a luckier girl!

Photography nerd

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 23:44 - United States - Boston

Today, the girl I like sent me a nude photo of herself. Being a photographer, all I could think about was how grainy the photo was, and the various ways it could be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 162

You deserved it 21 971

By TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks - 11/09/2012 03:13 - United States - Seattle

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 7 268

By whorecrux - 02/07/2013 03:37 - United States - Newark

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was going to buy me a "magic wand". Being a Harry Potter fanatic, I assumed he meant a replica wand. It turns out he actually meant a Magic Wand vibrator. I was more excited about the HP wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 967

You deserved it 9 862

By whatthewhat - 18/11/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 234

You deserved it 3 316

By My_Cow_kiM - 28/04/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I told my mom I'm severely allergic to my cat and that the doctor told me it would be best to get rid of the cat. Somewhat jokingly, I told her it was either me or the cat. She chose the cat. She was serious too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 474

You deserved it 5 620

By emmaavk88 - 17/03/2014 12:15 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 579

You deserved it 9 753

emmaavk88 tells us more.

emmaavk88 18

Monday 17 March 2014 18:59

If that was true, double F my life! Luckily he isn't, I made sure of that -OP

By Anonymous - 09/05/2010 16:19 - United States

Today, I realized that going back on birth control has made my acne go away and my boobs bigger. However, to my boyfriend's dismay, I've completely lost my sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 229

You deserved it 5 243

By joyness - 20/12/2012 14:49 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 297

You deserved it 24 773

By wowzersthatsucks - 29/06/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, I got a facebook relationship request from my crush of 2 and a half years. I was so excited until he posted on my wall, "Sorry wrong Catherine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 309

You deserved it 5 948

By lolomg - 08/09/2011 01:22 - New Zealand

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 584

You deserved it 3 078

By mislead - 22/09/2014 16:43 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 767

You deserved it 6 185

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 183

By bloodprincess - 25/06/2013 17:13 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 498

You deserved it 4 862

bloodprincess tells us more.

bloodprincess 11

Wednesday 3 July 2013 8:42

I'm really quiet and well my family chooses to ignore me unless it is time for house work.

Date night

By Mal - 29/10/2010 20:02 - United States

Today, I finally mustered up the guts to ask this girl I like to dinner and a movie. She agreed on the terms that she could bring someone, and I'd said it wouldn't be a problem. When I met up with her a few hours later, I found out she'd brought her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 642

You deserved it 6 747

By ms_nothing - 19/08/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I went to register for college classes with my mom. Upon leaving, my mom confessed to me that she thinks I will get pregnant and drop out before my freshman year is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 058

You deserved it 3 917

ms_nothing tells us more.

ms_nothing 10

Friday 19 August 2011 22:16

My mom went to college in her 30s. She got pregnant with me her senior year in high school, and waited til she was in her 30s to go to college. I plan on proving her wrong. I've never done anything to make her say something like that.

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 670

You deserved it 2 286