Sextoys, Toys and Miscellaneous: Toys R Us - FML

Toys R Us

By J…… - 07/02/2009 21:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 263

You deserved it 6 996

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By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Spicy

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 217

You deserved it 592

Ask first, snoop later

By Jenna Berreth - 07/10/2019 16:00

Spicy

Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 3 205

By bottomdrawerraider - 17/11/2010 17:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 12 205

Online shopping

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 02:04 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo, a jockstrap, and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 529

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 319

You deserved it 2 458

Oh no.

By Anonymous - 07/01/2018 01:30

Spicy

Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 418

You deserved it 1 672

By Lois - 09/02/2013 12:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Spicy

Today, I found out my mother has enough toys to open a sex shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 782

You deserved it 5 959

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 796

You deserved it 15 224

By BrokenVow - 30/07/2009 12:02 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 992

You deserved it 53 821

By Florida_1827 - 28/01/2011 10:54 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 881

You deserved it 4 529

Next

Top comments

xNephilim 18

Monday 27 September 2010 23:13

Sigh... This is just stupid. You're using slang yourself. The last time I checked, 'fucktard' was no real word.

meganl_fml 0

Monday 9 February 2009 2:53

ugh one time i was looking for a pic to upload of me and found one of my mom and her toys i was scared for a long time after that

Comments

Holicrim 5

Thursday 7 August 2014 14:02

Haha well you have your toys so she can have hers!!

MSDemonslayer 5

Monday 11 August 2014 3:05

You should use it

otumboo 10

Thursday 21 August 2014 8:39

I think what made it worse is that is was a stereotypical black ****

shidaddle 11

Saturday 7 February 2015 0:10

Panic and have a bath to remove all scar-for-life thoughts

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 944

You deserved it 713

Today, I had to rush home from work to help my parents, who are both wheelchair users, because they were having sex and fell between the bed and the wall. With both of them unable to walk, they were stuck there, so the first thing I saw walking into their room was mom's bum hole staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 63

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 3 264

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my grandfather. That's where I tripped over a loose cord in the hallway, resulting in a fractured elbow. I ended up in the emergency room and didn't even get to see my grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 206

You deserved it 324

Today, I posted a picture of myself in a new outfit on Instagram. A few minutes later, my mom commented, “You look gorgeous, but why does your shirt look like it’s from the 90s?” I was too embarrassed to respond, so I just deleted the post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 179

Today, I learned just how “old fashioned” my girlfriend is when we talked about marriage. She said it should be approached as a logically as possible and that I make an ideal partner, based on my ability to provide. And while she sees sex as uninteresting, it is a wifely duty she’s willing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 216