Transportation: Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a...

By Snickers - 12/05/2012 04:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 267

You deserved it 54 115

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 451

Panic mode activated

By Man in car - 11/10/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop car. As I was fumbling for my license and registration, I handed the officer a half-empty bag of Doritos I’d forgotten was in my glove box. He thought I was trying to bribe him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 317

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 882

You deserved it 45 730

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 412

You deserved it 22 027

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 436

You deserved it 43 509

By drkate25 - 18/12/2012 22:02 - United States - Enfield

Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 873

You deserved it 30 585

By PulledOver - 01/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I pulled up to the stoplight near my house. It was dark with no traffic and the car behind me kept edging closer and closer to me. I finally got fed up with waiting and the car and ran it. In fact, it was a cop and he was trying to read my license plate because the back light was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 978

You deserved it 54 839

By LucidNightmare - 27/01/2013 05:38 - United States - Englewood

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 771

You deserved it 18 702

By candymansvan17 - 17/08/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 478

You deserved it 3 240

By Ilovelife07 - 14/01/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, I snuck out of work 2 hours early. As I was speeding away so I wouldn't be seen, I rear-ended my boss as he was leaving the lower parking lot for a late lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 735

You deserved it 46 574

klovemachine 24

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

It's just a candy bar. That's not worth getting a ticket for! YDI

IIRoxieII 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 11:55

Hahaha, WTF?

Comments

flugiboogee 9

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:40

You're a bit of an idiot.

Vidrill 22

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:43

I actually created an account because I wanted to stress how idiotic it is for people like that to complain. Other FML's are about people who got cheated on or discovered their child wasn't theirs and that idiot ran a red light just to eat a chocolate and has the nerve to complain? You could have hit someone...

micahsmommy 13

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:53

OP is probably just embarrassed and FML is the place for all people to embarrass themselves further by sharing their embarrassing stories. Yes some FMLs are serious but many are funny and others are idiotic which is why there is a "you deserved it" button. If it wasn't FML worthy the fine moderators would have denied this post.

I_heart_sex 1

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:59

And the faithful ppl who are cheated on who fall into depression and become suicidal...well no one really hurt them right? Everyone has a bad day. This was a funny FML. Hope the cop had a sense of humor and OP didn't get a ticket.

Vidrill 22

Saturday 12 May 2012 13:08

It sure is embarrassing, but saying "F my life" because you ran a red light so you wouldn't be seen eating a freaking chocolate is a bit of a stretch to me and an insult to people who have actual problems. And saying that something is FML worthy is objective, all I'm saying is that it's not worthy to me...

juunebug 2

Saturday 12 May 2012 13:28

I remember *my* first FML..... Seriously though, you are obviously new here. Not every single FML is actually life shattering.

The_Hitdude 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 13:29

Vidrill- Are you seriously bitching about which FMLs are posted on the site? I don't think you're really grasping the fact that the FML staff sift through HUNDREDS of FMLs per day to find ones that are good enough to post on the site. I'm sure it's a slap in the face to them when people complain about the quality of FMLs, considering what they go through to keep us entrained on a daily basis. Have a little more respect and stop whining.

The_Hitdude 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 13:32

*entertained

Senseless_487 29

Saturday 12 May 2012 14:01

37, just because it doesn't seem like a "**** my life" moment to you, it doesn't mean that it won't to someone else. It isn't up to you, me, or anyone else, other than the site administrators, to decide what is worthy to be on this site. Why complain?

Zomg_Okay 26

Saturday 12 May 2012 14:21

27, you are far too serious to be on this website.

kandi_kid69 15

Saturday 12 May 2012 14:38

37- Please just leave. I don't think that the FML staff really care what is "F my life" worthy to you. It's an entertainment site. Not everything that gets posted has to be depressing and serious. My goodness, just have a laugh at OPs failure.

muFilter 19

Saturday 12 May 2012 14:51

Well, then it turns out you pretty much actually created an account to violate the commenting policy, because calling out FMLs for not being FML-worthy is frowned upon. Trust me on this, I've got badges you probably can't see because you're most likely on your phone. You're right that a lot of them involve more serious predicaments, but plenty are just pure jackassery. Anyway, welcome to the community.

DarthDeath 12

Saturday 12 May 2012 15:44

So you are saying that if OP had cheated on the chocolate by eating another bar, it would be a 'real' FML?

micahsmommy 13

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:47

Did you throw the chocolate out the window as you peeled out so you wouldn't get caught?

newburton13 26

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:54

Of course. Of course you're from California. A little chocolate isn't going to run an entire diet! You deserve it. Are you blonde?

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Saturday 12 May 2012 12:55

Wow, you're THAT paranoid? I highly doubt Anyone you know was going to be near that certain stoplight. And if they did, who cares? A candy bar can be easily burned off with a moderate amount of exercise. YDI for sure.