Miscellaneous: Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if...

By Alexis - 26/08/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 142

You deserved it 3 237

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Same thing different taste

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 259

You deserved it 3 054

News to me

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 20:00

Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 185

By tahneee - 31/05/2019 20:00

Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 238

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 829

You deserved it 2 935

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 6 687

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 22/07/2009 18:41 - United States

Today, I decided to dress up a little to go out to the bar. I put on a nice shirt, some leggings, and heels. When I walked out the door, my dad said that I looked like a whore. When I got to my boyfriend's house I told him what my dad had said and he replied, "I'd have to agree with him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 711

You deserved it 62 362

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 154

By kaitylait - 19/08/2011 00:59 - Canada

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 551

You deserved it 11 130

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 469

You deserved it 3 821

By lizard - 24/01/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 208

You deserved it 2 147

Fx13mz 7

Saturday 27 August 2011 6:59

So go ahead and do it already. He said it's okay.

allinicolesmh 0

Saturday 27 August 2011 7:01

*Dad watching lfl* "That's my girl, I raised her good!"

Comments

lionlvr 9

Saturday 27 August 2011 22:48

OMG that is freaking hilarious. I can totally picture what you just said happening.

ndhin831 2

Saturday 27 August 2011 22:58

we should really insist on a pic of OP before passing judgement on dad

RedPirate 3

Sunday 28 August 2011 1:53

Oh, Virginia. It all makes sense now.

good41thing198 7

Sunday 28 August 2011 3:24

Could have been worse. But you should lock your bedroom door at night. And keep some pepper spray handy.

onefinemess 11

Sunday 28 August 2011 5:55

Did you ever want to join or was he just trying to help his drunken buddies?

cleolappost 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 5:57

ewwwwe!!!

katkev 5

Sunday 28 August 2011 6:32

Creeper dad!

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 28 August 2011 6:34

Keep your door locked at night

bizarre_ftw 21

Sunday 28 August 2011 6:48

Good advice

wriptidez 0

Sunday 28 August 2011 11:31

sad

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The Top

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 911

You deserved it 8 679

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said, "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?" I said, "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?" She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 900

You deserved it 37 245

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 646

You deserved it 3 880

Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 226

You deserved it 151

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 515

You deserved it 6 758

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 024

You deserved it 36 936