Love: Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to...

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 204

You deserved it 7 777

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Same thing different taste

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 125

You deserved it 166

Enjoy what you enjoy

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 591

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 184

You deserved it 8 056

Treat yourself!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 171

You deserved it 4 746

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 472

You deserved it 1 922

Relax!

By still sore - 12/10/2019 19:00

Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 226

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 533

You deserved it 2 191

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 300

So sexy

By Anonymous - 27/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was relaxing in the bath with oils and candles and a new book when my husband burst in with diarrhoea, filled the toilet, polluted the air, and knocked my new book into the bathwater. Then, while washing his hands, he asked if I wanted an oil covered shag. Romantic, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 88

sarah8909 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:08

Do you know how much that sort of stuff costs in a salon? Don't be so ungrateful :p

BlackWolfVII 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:02

Maybe your boyfriend's got chunky thighs you've never noticed before.

Comments

HeyyyBrahhh 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:26

Lol. Well, he was trying to do you a favor.

papertigers_fml 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:29

hey i would be mad too. but if it actually works, then i'd forgive him. god i wish i could get rid of this cellulite. :P

qwerty123456789 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:41

Maybe he wasn't giving you that massage but was just browsing through the book and stopped on that page because he found it amusing.

guitardedman 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:51

11 = wrong. get a treadmill hoe.

liv_fml 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:55

#11 You are an idiot. I'm a size 0, run everyday, yet I still have cellulite on my thighs. Sometimes it's impossible to get rid of. I assume you aren't a girl so you probably don't know any better.

liveitlearnit 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 17:56

11 = correct. crack a book, 15. in fact, most women who are overweight have LESS visible cellulite than, because the fat solidifies over time. cellulite shows little puckers and is usually on the fattier areas of thinner people, or the thinner areas of fatter people.