Miscellaneous Thanks, I guess

Thanks, I guess

joAnne - 03/03/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

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You can't hurry love

Anonymous - - United States

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

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BFF

hairplease - 27/02/2010 19:03 - United States

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

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SadPuppy - 22/05/2013 07:14 - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

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carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

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Dying days

Lou Riche - 08/10/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I've stayed friends with, begged me to accompany him to the hospital, and act like we are still in love and are now engaged in front of his dying grandmother, who once greatly supported our relationship. We both witnessed her last moments, and her last words to us: "…who the hell are you?" FML

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Anonymous - 05/06/2015 15:58 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

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Anonymous - 24/05/2009 01:41 - United States

Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML

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Out of control

Anonymous - 14/07/2023 22:00

Today, my grandma, who was placed in a hospice a few months ago, started to decline in health and passed away, The day before she died I thought my girlfriend was so sweet because she took a leading role in her care, just to find out she didn’t care about her at all. It was just an act to steal her pain medication. FML

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Thanks, gran…

Joe - 03/04/2011 07:33 - Australia

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we got engaged. Her response, "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you." This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

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ams_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:40

don't worry, she's probably blind anyway.

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

That is a crazy lady.

d347hm4n 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:35

You got pwnd by the grandma

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Wednesday 4 March 2009 10:24

lmfao I'd pull the plug on her. Bitch.

berryfondue 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 14:12

lol @ the "definitely jewish" comment. man, i hope i say shit like that when i'm old.

ohmygolly 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 15:04

I once dated a guy named Mitch Whose grandma was a mean old bitch When at last she died Forget formaldehyde We just rolled her into a ditch

carlisle_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 15:14

I hope you said 'ha, well you're dying so I win!'

callitkarma 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 15:49

wow i would have unplugged her ass

kayykatastrophii 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 17:07

She may have just been going crazy. If not, ignore it. She shouldn't be judgmental, and what matters is if you make someone happy.

Sean123 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 0:08

yo check her IV for something extra

Bmgod132 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:39

at least she's his dying grandmother

Spitfire_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 1:41

Eh... good thing you're not like me coz I'd tell her "Well, have a good time rotting in hell, you crazy bitch." I know, I know. 'What the **** is wrong with you?' I am a bitch and I don't give a **** if you're on your death bed, you don't **** with me.