Intimacy Thanks, auntie - FML

Thanks, auntie

itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

ewwy - 10/10/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

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bubblebuttfuckfart - 13/10/2012 17:32 - Ireland

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

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I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

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Oblivious

Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

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Classic

Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

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IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

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Spunky

grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

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Let's get you home Grandma

Ima_Moronski - - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

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W.T.F.

Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

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Love Will Tear our T-shirt Apart

Jeremy - 12/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML

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superhumangambit 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:46

And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.

jewwybeanzzz 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:43

Nasty!! D:

soad2014 7

Friday 17 August 2012 2:08

I can imagine you yelling at your aunt like the general in the Tide To Go commercial. "A stain? A **** STAIN??? You disrespected me, your country, AND YOUR MOMMA!!!!" :D

quite_bored 9

Friday 17 August 2012 2:19

Drill instructor, actually.

fail_gurl21 7

Friday 17 August 2012 2:22

eeewww wtf is wrong with ur aunt?!?!

jennagrace1227 0

Friday 17 August 2012 3:14

That's just rude

trippythehippy 6

Friday 17 August 2012 3:19

Didn't anyone tell her? Spitters are quitters! No one likes a quitter!

XxJessisonfirexX 8

Friday 17 August 2012 3:37

Aunt **** ! Lol

Pandasaurus 14

Friday 17 August 2012 3:56

the **** did I just read..

JaCkBrOcHiLl17 2

Friday 17 August 2012 3:59

she was probably just eating a cinnabon

Calingaladha 21

Friday 17 August 2012 5:13

So...judging by your location, someone got Arkansauce all over it.

shutterbug_brit 1

Friday 17 August 2012 5:36

It's probably tooth paste.. Would make a lot more sense, no?

blakeford 5

Friday 17 August 2012 5:45

Hot.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML

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Today, I tried to initiate sex with my boyfriend. As I put on my most seductive moves, he ever so nicely says, "Babe, we just had sex last night. Why don't we wait a while so you've had some time to tighten back up." FML

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Today, every time I play on my PS4, my father does nothing but pester me about, "wasting my time on that garbage" and insists that I watch soap operas with him instead. FML

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Today I was really hitting it off with my blind date and was eager to arrange a second date. I gave him my number and he decided to call my phone so I could save his number. My phone didn’t ring. He got upset because he thought I gave him a fake number and stormed off. The battery was dead. FML

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Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

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Today, my instructor turned up late to get me for my driving test. I soon realized something was seriously wrong. Turned out his wife left him last night, and he'd been drinking the pain away all morning. He ended up rear-ending another car, and now I have to reschedule my test. FML

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