Intimacy Thanks, auntie - FML

Thanks, auntie

itwasmyfavoriteshirt - 16/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

ewwy - 10/10/2010 06:54 - United States

Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

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bubblebuttfuckfart - 13/10/2012 17:32 - Ireland

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

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I'm disgusting - 26/05/2019 22:11

Today, my girlfriend caught me using my T-shirt as a tissue. Again. FML

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Oblivious

Anonymous - 24/02/2025 12:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, my ex and I had sex. Afterwards, I cleaned myself with a t-shirt and left a huge sperm stain on the front of it. After that, my stepfather came home, so we left. As we were sitting in the car in front of the house, my stepfather left on a bicycle, wearing the t-shirt. Sunlight reflected off the stain. FML

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Classic

Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

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IHateMySister - 02/01/2016 10:36 - Denmark - Kirke-hyllinge

Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML

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Spunky

grimatwork - 01/11/2010 17:24 - United Kingdom

Today, after taking my jacket off at work, I found a large faint stain all across one side of my shirt. Turns out that my fiancé had used it to "clean up the bed." I am the manager of a supermarket with 40 employees. It was pretty obvious what it was. FML

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Let's get you home Grandma

Ima_Moronski - - United States

Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML

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W.T.F.

Anonymous - 15/09/2018 06:00

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

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Love Will Tear our T-shirt Apart

Jeremy - 12/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I did my laundry at a laundromat. When I came back to get my clothes, I found an elderly man wearing my favorite Joy Division t-shirt, and he refused to give it back because he said it was his. I spent a few minutes arguing with him, before realizing I had grabbed someone else's clothes too. FML

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superhumangambit 4

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:46

And I returned your aunt... With **** stains.

jewwybeanzzz 10

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:43

Nasty!! D:

ebonyirony 29

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:48

It was her shirt. She was number one.

linkinpark98 23

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:54

Love the spongebob reference!

amandajlucas2015 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:51

Tell her to buy u a new one that's Wut I would do.. Stand ur ground:)

linkinpark98 23

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:53

Might as well burn it. Washing it will do nothing.

linkinpark98 23

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:57

Livin' like Larry!

perdix 29

Thursday 16 August 2012 22:59

I've had some shirts I really liked, but I've never been so sexually attracted to one that I actually jizzed on it. F your aunt's life for having to wear your spooge-encrusted shirt!

laxforevrr 0

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:00

Lucky you-.-

MindFreakazoid 10

Friday 17 August 2012 0:01

Is that all you could think of to say?

Dixbfloppin 11

Friday 17 August 2012 1:46

W-why would you want your aunt's **** on your favorite shirt?

laurenlovesjb 20

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:00

Just ask her to get you a new one. She's owes you. She stains it (especially with ****), she replaces it!

m1grande 3

Friday 17 August 2012 5:09

Jb is horrible.

Larawk 8

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:02

At least you know you won't have any new cousins lol

jenniiienyc 5

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:07

That is beyond gross. I suggest you don't let her borrow ANYTHING of yours anymore.

SneakyCaveman 13

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:12

Don't worry OP, it was just some mayonnaise from the 5 dollar foot long she was having the night before.

octopussperm125 18

Thursday 16 August 2012 23:56

Or is it??

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

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Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

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Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML

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Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

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Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

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Today, I made a digital contact card for my department that needed to be sent to payroll. Since we didn't have one before, I sent a copy to the rest of the department to use if they wanted. I didn't send the blank though. I sent 100s of people all of my contact info. Somehow, I managed to misspell my own name too. FML

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