Intimacy: STOP TALKING

STOP TALKING

By SlickMcK - 05/06/2010 21:14 - United States

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 593

You deserved it 4 346

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

You have been warned

By AnalProbe - 12/03/2017 18:00

Today, my mother warned me that if I ever have anal sex I will die. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 157

You deserved it 504

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 415

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 107

You deserved it 3 894

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 553

You deserved it 3 731

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 013

You deserved it 15 202

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 013

You deserved it 967

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 530

You deserved it 3 422

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 172

You deserved it 2 680

By weirdedout - 24/05/2010 15:14 - United States

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asked, "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 684

You deserved it 5 253

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 150

You deserved it 3 075

perdix 29

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:01

Tell her you need "a nap" and to turn off auto-correct on your iPhone.

perdix 29

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:06

You should ask her how Dad gives it to her. That will make the last 39 minutes of your ride silent . . . or more disturbing than the Blue Waffle.

Comments

lovinit5683 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:24

Ok, that isn't that bad she is just trying to ptotect u, geez #10 is a cutie(; both the dog and him;)

Stevefett 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:46

33- Once again I am surprised by what girls think is cute these days. No offense No.10. I know alot of girls and I don't think even 1 would think you are cute. They would love the dog though.

rawrcupcakesz 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:57

don't listen to Steve. He doesn't have a picture. And Steve why are you checking him out?

Mirorbo 26

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:27

Awkward is an understatement here....

xtfauthorx 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:29

it depends.... is she offering?

MetalmaidenDeth 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:39

cryptic metaphore?

justmyluck1212 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:48

This would be the perfect time to hint your gay

lovinit5683 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 2:54

#51 and I just love when people say things that offend people then say no offence..(sarcasm) Like you have any room to talk anyways, you don't even have a picture up of yourself.

T_X_P 2

Sunday 6 June 2010 3:00

"Oh noes! My mommy cares enough about me to try to provide guidance!!!" Boo F'n hoo. Stop whining.

SummerStorm_fml 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 3:32

Ugh I empathize with this... I hate when my mom brings shit like that up.

hollywood712 0

Sunday 6 June 2010 3:35

they talked about that on dr. oz this past week. I bet that's were she got the idea to talk to u about it!! ur mom has balls for being able to even talk to u about that shit!!