Animals, Cats Health Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Hang in there

ouch - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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Freak out

zAstonish - - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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Deez nuts

needtoscratch - - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

your_mother 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 21:26

ahahahahahahahahaha this is one of the best FML's i've ever read!!!!

lololololololl 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 23:28

I lol'd at "i tried to wash my cat in the shower". Thats all that was needed to make this an FML.

daixin 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 2:20

What were you thinking? How can someone be so foolish? lol

BlackScorpionAng 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:13

LOL I found a woman for you asshole...you and her have a lot in common... http://thechive.com/2009/05/wtf-18-photos/wtf-photos-great-15/

capital_seven 0

Monday 7 September 2009 7:20

XDDDD Lmfao. I like her bathing suit

coffeerio 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 9:45

Your repeated use of the word "manparts" makes me laugh.

FlowerChild_90 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 1:32

HAHA!! wow.. this is def my fav FML ever!!! i feel for you.

pinkphonepinkpho 16

Thursday 10 September 2009 8:11

kind of confused as to why you tried to wash your cat when they hate water ...? dumbass

Redrosesandrain 0

Friday 11 September 2009 22:53

manparts? ydi

lakita_lover 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 16:16

Unless your cat was coved in mud or something, YDI for being an idiot. Cats are not like dogs. They clean themselves regularly and hardly every need people to bathe them. And even if your cat gets muddy or something you should wash it in the bathtub while using gloves thick enough to prevent scratches. Don't you know your cat well enough to know it would freak out if you got it wet? Most cats hate water. duh!