Animals, Cats Health Caturday surprise!

Caturday surprise!

keeperstride - - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Hang in there

ouch - - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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Close encounters

Pinkie - - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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Freak out

zAstonish - - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML

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Deez nuts

needtoscratch - - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

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Bad boy

Shiva - - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

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Surprising

Anonymous - 28/11/2019 20:00

Today, my younger sister had some friends over at ours. I was in the shower but was horrified to realize my clothes and towel were gone. Figuring that she took them, I tried to make it to my room without being seen, but one of her friends came up to use the bathroom. She saw everything. FML

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Stinky pits

shakinmahbuttbutt - - United States

Today, it's been two weeks since my parents went crazy with their attempts to save on the water bill. Every time I want to take a shower, I have to ask them first. Let's just say I've had to resort to taking sponge baths in public bathrooms to keep my B.O. under control. FML

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redbluegreen 40

Friday 4 September 2009 1:08

Greatest FML I've ever read in my life.

Aoife 0

Friday 4 September 2009 1:11

Haha, there's a place and time for everything. You can't ALWAYS get the pussy into the shower with you. x]

lordmoe 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 4:10

PROBLEM: MOST CATS HATE WATER, OR BEING FORCED INTO WATER plus any cat owner of a cat with claws knows THEY SCRATCH, and to be naked while giving a cat a shower is f***ing retarded

lordmoe 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 4:15

Maybe he should become a food and/or labor source(with no pay)...

eyeheart87 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 4:19

Epic fail

rachel_95 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 5:44

for all the people who say clean a cat with a garden hose, you are idiots. they will run away and get dirt stuck on them that way. to all the people who say never bathe a cat, you are also idiots. if you don't wash your cat once in a while, it will smell like the inside of its mouth. don't wash a cat without holding its paws. use logic people!

Flagband09 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 6:40

total agreement with #214

Joeltebo 2

Saturday 5 September 2009 6:51

WTF cleen your cook god dam

thejanesky 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 9:22

what was the cat doing around your area anyhow? tryna get some pussy on your dick? HA!

haha_lmao_rofl 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 16:51

Now u know why I fear wet pussy. lmao fail dude. just NO.

beach_bum91 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 18:10

Dude, cats suck. Why do you have one?

Railynn_daisuki 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 20:26

YDI for not thinking that cats do not like water and will scratch their way to Narnia to get away from it. I was thinking about washing my kitten while I was showering but then I realized that she likes to cling onto people with her sharp claws so I just washed her in the tub by herself.