Relatable

No one (in HR) wants to work anymore

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 11:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I have applied to over 50 different jobs in the last month. I have NOT received a call or email back from any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 76

Frozen

By Cold!!! - 23/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Steele

Today, thanks to a wonderful -40°F wind chill (I'm in the Midwest), I woke up this morning to a freezing cold house. I had to wear my shoes, a coat, and gloves. Indoors. For the whole morning and most of the afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 106

Fake it til you bake it

By Nathalie01 - 23/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 201

Biohazard

By Diane - 19/01/2025 12:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 155

Doormat hazard

By Little man - 18/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was walking into my office building when I tripped over a doormat and fell flat on my face right in front of the security guard. As I tried to stand up, I kicked the door, slamming shut with a dramatic bang. I looked up to see that the entire building lobby was watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 125

Confused

By Good to know - 16/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I found out that, despite the name, it is indeed possible to get swimmer's ear without ever actually going swimming. Am I dumb, or am I right to be confused? I suppose it could be worse, but… how? FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 151

Can't you see?

By imaqtb - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said, "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said, "No, seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 771

You deserved it 38 035

Yours or theirs? Or both?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 04:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 144

Bathtime

By Claire - 13/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get some "quality me-time" by taking a bubble bath. Ten minutes in, my needy cat started howling like it was the end of the world, so I jumped out to see what was happening. Nothing. She's just going to do that every time I try to take a bath. No relaxing allowed, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 194

Safe space

By lI. - 13/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 132

The indignity

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it actually shattered beneath my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 185

Luscious locks

By lukey101 - 12/01/2025 06:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered that I bought two shampoos instead of a shampoo and conditioner. So for the past three months, I’ve been washing my hair twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 484

Absolute beginner

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I discovered that my "life-changing" skincare routine wasn’t working because I’d been using conditioner instead of moisturizer for two weeks. My skin is greasy, and I smell like coconuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 564

Fumbled the ball

By Cathy - 08/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I sent a message to my crush saying, “Hey, how are you?” I immediately followed it up with another message that said, “Oops, wrong person,” because I panicked. Now he probably thinks I wasn’t even trying to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 636

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 441

This has to stop

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today I got back to work after the holiday break to find out all my hard work on background illustrations for the company are progressively being replaced by piss-poor AI monstrosities. This sucks donkey dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 96

Same

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 185

I'm a realist

By abbiexo97 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I had a dream that I had to abandon my shopping at the checkout due to lack of funds. Even in my dreams I don’t have any money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 252

Does not spark joy

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I was super proud of myself for organizing my entire wardrobe. As I went to admire my work, I pulled out a sweater and knocked over the entire shelf of shoes. Now everything's on the floor and I can’t find my favourite pair of socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 158

Bad time for insurance denials

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my car broke down dead in the middle of the highway. As I was unable to get it out of the road, it was impounded, and my insurance won't help. Now I'm further in debt and struggling to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 85

Toxic workplace (literally)

By Bob - 06/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, after I left my job at lunch yesterday and didn't return because I felt sick to my stomach after they had me melting plastic, even though I asked for a mask and they just gave me a small desktop fan, they just called and want me back. Me, being desperate for work, I had to say yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 146

New year's resolution gone wrong

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. Feeling pumped, I grabbed what I thought was a light dumbbell. It wasn’t. I dropped it on my toe and screamed so loud that the gym bros around me stopped mid-workout to stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 463

Cutie

By Lauren - 05/01/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize saying, "Hey, cutie." Thinking it was the guy I met in a bar during a NYE party, I flirted back. Turns out, it was my grandma learning how to use her new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 226

Time to bail

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm so tired of life. I work 16 hour shifts. My fiancee takes me for granted and I mean that seriously, I have to work 16 hours, 5 days a week, come home, take care of the house and the kids, while I listen to her complain about her 40 hour week. No sex and I don't control my money. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 335

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 11:00 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I spent 3 hours looking for a roll of tape. I didn't find the tape. I still need the tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 342

Girl…

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 04:00 - Canada - Sydney

Today, I’m questioning everything about me. I’ve been in a relationship with the same guy for almost 3 years now, high school sweethearts if you will. Now I’m starting to question if I even like guys. I’ve never gotten off to a guy, but women? I’ve always gotten off to them. My boyfriend is so sweet, I don’t know how to do this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 225

That dang Ozempic

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 13:00 - Australia - Wollongong

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 92

Bad start

By poopface82 - 02/01/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, after my girlfriend’s grandmother died over the holidays, both my kids are sick, my beloved aunt is on death’s doorstep and, to top it off, my car’s brakes are shot. I don’t know if I will ever not be stressed the hell out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 102

Soaked

By Jus' me - 30/12/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I was getting ready to relax on my couch and watch TV under a comforter. I had a bag of snacks and the remote in one hand, and a glass of Coke in the other. Usually, I throw the remote onto the couch before settling down… only this time I had it in my left hand and not my right. At least the glass didn't shatter this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 448

Been there, done that

By Christine - 30/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 118

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The Top

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 940

You deserved it 55 155

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable, which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 268

You deserved it 3 481

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for the tattoo artist who gave us our matching "love" tattoos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 402

You deserved it 9 769

Today, we were talking about discrimination. I shared my story of being denied housing and a job offer because I'm trans. Some doofus tried to compare it to the time he was denied a car loan due to not having credit history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 643

You deserved it 764

Today, I spent half an hour on the phone with a woman who was yelling at the top of her lungs, sobbing uncontrollably, and hyperventilating. She also told me if she had a heart attack and died from crying, it was all my fault. Why? I told her she needed her receipt to have her TV repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 045

You deserved it 3 018

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 903

You deserved it 596