Bernie
By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00
By Anonymous - 27/11/2017 06:00
By Karma_will_bite - 31/05/2017 11:19
By nevaagain - 19/08/2016 20:00 - United States - Saint Paul
By TeaRex__ - 21/03/2017 14:38
Hi OP here, I don't know why it's showing me as male, I'm very much a female, a potato female apparently.. But I'll just add a bit more context to a very random situation, the kid who said it is one of my pupils (12 years old), she often says her random thought out loude, although this is one of the most random things she's ever said to me. She couldn't tell what kind of potato is the good kind, just that I looked like it. Some of the suggestions in the comments here is absolutely hilarious and great possible candidates for the good looking potato.
By Layne - 07/05/2017 21:00 - Brazil
By Anonymous - 17/08/2017 11:51
Hi everyone, OP here. I'm really struggling to put everything into perspective, so many thanks for all of your input! I'd like to clarify that he took the pictures at his own initiative at occasions where I was (getting) undressed. I didn't really give permission, just playfully raised a fist and let him. After all, we've been together for 11 years since highschool, I would've trusted him with my life. Learned that the hard way. He did blur my face, but that makes little difference because he would tell the people it was his wife and his full name was visible on his profile (he wasn't aware of that fact until I pointed it out). Divorce is our only option at this point, I don't trust him anymore, especially since there also have been other lies. I decided not to press charges as I would like to divorce on friendly terms.
By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 21:40 - United States
By weldingmachine217 - 16/11/2015 21:47 - United States - Blanchard
By Anonymous - 10/04/2017 15:31
OP here. First of all, thank you very much for your support!! Secondly, the reason why my father hates my husband is because of the cultural difference. My family is a conservative traditional eastern European family, they are Christian Orthodox and they care a lot about tradition (getting married in a church, baptizing the kids in orthodox religion, blindly following or doing whatever an older family member sais or asks etc). My husband comes from a typical Nordic family, he's atheist, feminist and basically a very empathetic and open minded person and these qualities are quite the opposite of those of my family's. My dad had always been harsh on me while I was a child and it continued for a long time even after I moved out from my parents house and until I got married to my husband. You would say that living at 2300 km away (we're living and studying abroad) from my dad would be fantastic and he couldn't influence our life in any way... Well he can! He calls my other family members to complain about how I ruined my life and their life by marrying a "pagan" who "has no respect towards our culture" and has married me "out of interest". My other family members call me everyday to complain to me about my father acting insane and to make sure I am ok. I obviously knew something was wrong because he wasn't talking to me (which is abnormal because if he doesn't agree with something he would just call me and yell at me) but I didn't know it was that serious until they told me. Later update: my dad finally called me and he (very seriously) proposed to me that after i will give birth he would take my child away from me so I "could focus on med school without stress" and he would raise him/her as his own child and our baby would grow up speaking only my language and not English (my husband and i speak English at home since we come from different countries). You can all imagine my reaction and what i felt in that moment and why now I'm the one not talking to him anymore. Without any more comments you now have a picture of this very messed up situation and how things like this still happen in the 21st century in developed countries. And no, I had no idea that this kind of thing would ever happen to me. I didn't think that my own father would turn out to be that type of person. I knew he was a bit misogynistic and homophobic but I never imagined that he will not accept my husband just because he's Swedish , or as he likes to call him, "a Viking" (he considers "viking" being a sort of dirty word describing a very massive blond Swedish man with no religion, or a "filthy pagan").
By DoubleTrouble - 16/10/2018 17:30 - India
By Preggers - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
By Redhead - 22/08/2018 06:00
By Noname - 18/03/2009 01:24 - United States
By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada
By Anonymous - 07/02/2020 12:00 - Canada - Edmonton
By Oli974 - 22/10/2015 13:08 - France - N?ves-parmelan
By horno - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco
By Anonymous - 12/06/2018 05:00
By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00
By Getmeoutofhere - 10/08/2017 17:15 - Australia
By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando
By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 03:00
By Anonymous - 06/07/2017 21:00 - Italy
By catwithwatermelononhead - 07/07/2018 19:06
OP here. No exciting reply to the wannabe client, I opted to only politely declined to work with them. Glad I did because a colleague did take them on and they changed the project repeatedly and refused to pay for the work. Bullet dodged, but now I wish I had been snarky.
By who_could_it_be - 06/08/2009 13:35 - Canada
By misfitunfit - 11/11/2015 01:24 - United States
OP here. The carton of new litter was in the kitchen with the rest of the groceries I had brought in. Litter box is in the laundry room off the kitchen and it broke on the way there. woops!
By please stay on the line - 07/05/2017 04:00
By IcyDarcy - 07/04/2017 16:41 - Finland
OP here. So happy this got published, I need to frame it and gift it to my husband so he'll never forget this glorious moment :D Here's the full story: We were visiting some of my relatives for the holidays, and they live in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. My husband didn't know the place, it was the night (rather dark because there are very few streetlights), and he was a bit tipsy because it was Christmas. Anyway, on his way home from a walk, he got a bit lost and mistook another house for my relatives's house. (As I had told him I would lock the door but leave a door-window unlocked, it didn't surprise him that the door was locked.) But, the real house owner happened to come home right at that moment, and you can imagine his reaction when he saw a stranger trying to open one of his windows. Apparently, he tried to ask my husband what he was doing, and I don't know what my husband replied, but anyway, my husband didn't speak the language and the house owner didn't speak English. So I can't blame him for calling the cops because I would've probably done the same. Still, I was VERY mad when the cops brought my husband home, to the point that upon leaving, they actually told me, “Don't be too harsh on him, it was a honest mistake and he was very nice to us. We explained the situation, you can tell him it's all fine.” But I was so mad that I let my husband believe he would really get in trouble for a short while, haha :D
By OhCrap - 02/03/2018 09:56
Op here: Nope, it didn't smash the toilet, it literally cut it right down the middle and got stuck there. It was just this huge, metal edged mirror balanced against the wall by the toilet and I nudged it over. Did pay for the repair but it took weeks as the plumber messed up the job. She had to use her neighbour's bathroom for over a fortnight.
By dammit - 23/05/2017 04:00
Keywords
Damn, I didn't expect this to get posted at all. For starters, I am half Jewish and look like a version of Anne Frank with frizzier hair and a broken nose. As for the whole situation, with a liquidation sale, there are absolutely no returns or exchanges of any kind at the location I work at. The "customers" I was serving were a foul mouthed, belligerent couple who are the kinds of people that make you hate people. They had at least $500 worth of returns that we could not process and despite myself, my department manager, and the store manager explaining that they could not return items at this location because of the liquidation status, they still remained belligerent and hell bent on not driving a half hour to the nearest alternate location, and after I politely apologized and explained that they could go to the next available location which would promptly give them a refund, the **** of a wife spat "well you can just promptly go back to Auchwitz" and then the dick of a husband joined in and repeated the aforementioned statement, which then prompted an old man at the register next to mine to chime in with his antisemitic comments. This resulted with mall security being called and having to escort the belligerent couple and the old man off the premises.