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By fishy situation - 13/06/2017 04:00

Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 101

You deserved it 407

By SilentSin - 25/08/2015 02:02 - United States - Canton

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 820

You deserved it 16 584

SilentSin tells us more.

SilentSin 23

Wednesday 26 August 2015 23:23

OP here. I just wanna clear things up. I work third shift and go to college full time, so yes, I do take naps every now and then before work (usually right after classes), and the two dogs I own are a Pomeranian and a chihuahua terroir, both of which are two very small breeds of dogs. So for those saying that dogs are meant for protection, yeah, not these. Pomeranians are very defensive of their territory, so no matter who or what my Pom sees or hears outside, she'll bark like crazy. The chihuahua usually does the same thing; they bark even when they hear me open the garage door. No, I never heard the intruder break in and yes, I have trained the dogs both to silence the barking but only on command. So since they were in a different room than me, I went and commanded them to silence, and yes I didn't think there was a burglar in the house because like I said earlier, these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Being distracted by the dogs, I did get KO'd but it wasn't for too long. I woke up only minutes after, called police and managed to catch the thief, so it's all good now. I hope this clears things up and that y'all have a fantastic day!

Taking the Micheal

By Michael - 20/09/2017 16:00

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years confessed to cheating on me during my recent business trip. Moreover, she doesn't want to cut off contact with the other guy, because she's afraid of hurting HIS feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 745

You deserved it 326

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 23:15 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 335

You deserved it 833

By Miss_Blaine - 29/06/2016 20:05 - United States - Houston

Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 943

You deserved it 1 290

Not coming

By L_M_AND_R_L - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 694

You deserved it 1 314

By FML18 - 22/06/2018 14:30 - Spain

Today, I found out I have oral and genital herpes as well as genital warts. I'm a 15-year-old virgin. I don't know how this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 516

You deserved it 457

By Oh hello there - 17/06/2018 01:30

Today, I accidentally left my Nintendo 3DS at the barbershop, so I rushed back to get it. The 60-year-old barber had destroyed it with a hammer, saying it was a weapon of the devil. I was gone 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 158

You deserved it 629

There you go

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 01:30

Today, our work computers are down so I've been trying to fix it via my home computer for 3 days. My 12-year-old son took one look at the screen, changed 2 settings on a drop down menu, and the problem was fixed. My 12-year-old is better at my job than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 949

You deserved it 1 593

By boopingsnoot - 08/08/2018 18:54

Today, I was entertaining my 12-year-old cousin in the yard when two of my cats chased down and killed a baby bunny right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 877

You deserved it 567

boopingsnoot tells us more.

boopingsnoot 24

Saturday 4 August 2018 18:34

So, the second half of the story: Cousin got the bunny away from the cats before it was completely dead, and when I couldn’t fix her “new pet” she wanted to sit and watch it die. And take it to another relative’s house and bury it in *their* yard. Took a while to convince her to leave it in a “safe place” (bushes where my cats like to hang out, so they could finish the job). Hey, saves me money on cat food.

By SnapeIsGood - 08/11/2016 09:44 - Germany - Kornwestheim

Today, I hit the gym. With my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 371

You deserved it 1 869

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 871

You deserved it 2 192

Because nobody questions Bigfoot

By poisonivyandbigfoot - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's phone when he got a text from a girl saying, "Last night was so fun." When I asked him about it, he panicked and said, "We were hunting Bigfoot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 616

You deserved it 406

The system is broke!

By ABD - 15/12/2017 01:30

Today, I found out that when I go on Medicare in January, one of my medicines will go from $45 per month to $3000 for the first month, then $425 per month for the rest of the year. I need this medicine to stay alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 517

You deserved it 360

By boobmilk - 08/03/2018 06:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today I left my 8-week-old with my brother so I could return to work. His wife took all the breast milk I'd packed out of the fridge and poured it out. According to her, it was “gross” and she didn’t want it near her food. My son is allergic to formula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 008

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 04/10/2018 15:30

Today, my 6'8" russian friend picked me up, a 5'0" petite girl. This would be fine if he hadn't been startled by a moth and dropped me down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 137

You deserved it 238

Zach from Extra Fabulous Comics Illustrated this FML!

By Beeper - 09/07/2019 09:07 - United States - Champaign

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 826

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 19/06/2017 08:41 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, I found out that my divorced father is moving 3 houses down the street with his girlfriend, with whom he cheated on my mom. He will now be living 3 houses away from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 175

You deserved it 393

TheDword tells us more.

TheDword 9

Sunday 18 June 2017 20:38

Hey guys OP here, i cant believe this got featured especially as incoherent as i thnk it is. To answer some questions i do kinda wish that they would get back together but it really was a mess of a family. As pathetic as it sounds i am living with my gf and her family since my mother, who knows that he is going to live there, currently lives with her mother and its rather packed. The house my father is going to live in was our old house. Dad got custody of that. Fortunately neither get custody of me since i am 19. Ty for all your support!

By Anonymous - 31/08/2017 16:00