By swip - 29/07/2018 20:30
The Top
By Anonymous - 28/03/2016 20:23 - United States
So beautiful!
By JerryClark - 02/02/2020 14:00 - United States - San Bernardino
It's coming!
By badmom - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Saint Catharines
By aargh - 28/04/2017 10:50
Vee94 tells us more.
You what now?
By starboi - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Weaver
By bwoolf96 - 10/09/2015 12:32
By Myorafield - 26/10/2016 06:42 - Australia - Glenwood
By Adulting - 31/10/2017 21:24
By hellolaina - 25/06/2016 00:13 - Australia
hellolaina tells us more.
And to answer everyone's question, no I didn't use to be a guy. And yes he is my ex.
By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 12:00 - United States - Bellevue
By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 14:00
Don't look!
By Garfield - 21/01/2016 04:41 - Canada - Toronto
By mumfordandsonimdisappointed - 29/08/2015 05:09 - United States
Corolla Conspiracy
By Anonymous - 30/07/2017 00:30
By Deaf Dumb & Blonde - 01/09/2016 21:17 - United States
Truthbomb
By DuckMan - 07/10/2017 13:00
Classy.
By klifestyle2012 - 12/11/2017 19:00
By Anonymous - 29/06/2016 02:17 - United States - High Springs
The proposal
By Still No Ring - 15/06/2016 21:49 - United States - Lisbon
"Shit ticket for one"
By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 15:00
Good one, mate
By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 12:44 - United Kingdom - Cardiff
Spiked
By Kmcc - 22/04/2019 12:00
By fishy situation - 13/06/2017 04:00
By SilentSin - 25/08/2015 02:02 - United States - Canton
SilentSin tells us more.
OP here. I just wanna clear things up. I work third shift and go to college full time, so yes, I do take naps every now and then before work (usually right after classes), and the two dogs I own are a Pomeranian and a chihuahua terroir, both of which are two very small breeds of dogs. So for those saying that dogs are meant for protection, yeah, not these. Pomeranians are very defensive of their territory, so no matter who or what my Pom sees or hears outside, she'll bark like crazy. The chihuahua usually does the same thing; they bark even when they hear me open the garage door. No, I never heard the intruder break in and yes, I have trained the dogs both to silence the barking but only on command. So since they were in a different room than me, I went and commanded them to silence, and yes I didn't think there was a burglar in the house because like I said earlier, these dogs bark at EVERYTHING. Being distracted by the dogs, I did get KO'd but it wasn't for too long. I woke up only minutes after, called police and managed to catch the thief, so it's all good now. I hope this clears things up and that y'all have a fantastic day!
By inappropes - 18/08/2016 21:41 - United States
inappropes tells us more.
As soon as I said it I realised the implications and just had to laugh. We both got a good chuckle out of it. I thought it would do the same for all of you so I thought I would share.
'Murica
By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30
By Crushgonewrong - 22/06/2016 21:42 - United States - Compton
By bad boss - 03/04/2018 01:30
No thanks!
By forever alone - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - New York
Keywords
OP here! (I didn't have an account when I submitted this..) Yeah this was a weird, uncomfortable experience for me. I've had dates which were boring or which I wasn't into (and vice versa) but there's nothing quite like watching someone fish out chewing tobacco from their gums and plonk it in a coffee cup while telling you that your eyes are pretty... This was a really nice, upmarket coffee shop and I cringed horribly when one of the servers came to take away the cup, wad of chewed up tobacco and snot-covered napkin and all. Shortly after the friend arrived and poured cough syrup into his espresso, I excused myself... and I declined the request for another meeting. But I still haven't gone back in that coffee shop. Nor have I been brave enough to go on any more dates.