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I'm the guy that submitted this FML. I didn't think this topic would gain so much traction but I don't feel so alone and I do appreciate reading your comments good or bad. Yes, my parents are "racist assholes". Both of them immigrated into the U.S. in their teens. Currently in their 60's/70s respectively, I cannot fathom why they continue to harbor such hate but here is the kicker. I'm not pure Chinese. I'm part Chinese and Japanese. The Japanese is from my mother's side. My father rants about how much he hates the Japanese. Further, my grandfather was a medic for the Army in WW2 so that adds more fuel to the fire. So how in the hell did he get around to marrying my mother? Of course my father has no answer for that. The racism is only scratching the surface. It's the Asian tiger parents sort of mentality of romanticizing and demanding perfection from their offspring. Check out Amy Chua's book if you don't believe me. All I can do is press on in life and not repeat the same mistakes my parents made because I don't want my own son labeling me "asshole".

In reference to everyone who wants to know how he teaches: He uses power points and is able to type, change slides, and use a laser pointer with his foot (I think only one leg is actually real). He teaches psychology and is an amazing teacher.

I'm happy to inform you #23 that the popsicles survived the accident, and many of them are already in my belly! ;-)

Hey guys, this is the OP here, and this is actually my first FML ever :3 This actually happened to me back in September, I was on the highway on my way to school. What happened was the traffic was so bumper-to-bumper, due to a bigger accident ahead. I had my foot on the brake, so the car was stopped at the time (I wasn't driving while looking.) That's when I decided to look around and saw a lady with her eyes shut in the car next to me. I guess my foot slipped off the brake ever so slightly, because next thing I heard was a thump (the cars were so close together it happened in an instant.) Luckily we were able to pull over, and the lady didn't seem too angry at me. Neither of our bumpers were damaged too much, so I just called my dad and had her speak with him. In the end, I just paid them $600 instead of going to insurance, and my car (luckily) didn't suffer too much damage. Yes, I know it was my fault, and I've learned from my mistake, so now, even in heavy traffic, eyes on the road only!

He got stuck in one of those oddly shaped bathroom trashcans. And it was his tail end that got stuck, so he was sticking out of the trashcan like a jack-in-the-box. Because the can was oddly shaped it was hard to figure out how to get the cat free and make it as humane as possible. Also, the cat kept trying to roll around in the trash can because he thought it would help. My cat isn't the brightest crayon in the package but he is pretty funny.

So I wouldn't talk and the audience wouldn't hear me. And I didn't make any awkward sounds in the restroom either. All of a sudden the audience just heard a huge "FLUSH!!!!"Which is why the sound guys didnt have time to turn off the mic. And they apologized to me afterwards, but it was embarrassing. Now it's funny.