Miscellaneous

Introverts! Hide!

By ??? - 17/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was home alone when the doorbell rang. I panicked and hid under the table because I wasn’t expecting anyone and I have minor social anxiety. It was just Amazon dropping off a package. I made eye contact with the delivery guy through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 486

Disapproving

By Disappointment - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Gresham

Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 493

You deserved it 2 299

Knowledge is power

By Wow, really? - 16/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I said that I wasn't expecting someone to say salt made a food sweet. My friend then decided to explain what salt is, a flavor enhancer, and "like when it's on the rim of a Margarita." Really? We're all in college and I'm the only one who keeps their grades up. I know what the fuck salt is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 361

Toxic AF

By Anonymous - 16/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my coworker/landlady drunkenly told me in front of her kids that she’s my mom. I’ve never felt like she treated me as her daughter - more like an assistant while she’s the boss. I can’t tell if she said it to make her kids jealous or for another reason, but now I’m just mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 70

Pikachu!

By Pokémon Loser - 16/01/2025 10:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, a fresh gust of wind blew a really attractive woman's skirt up in front of me, revealing her yellow panties with Pikachu's face on it. Pulling her skirt down and giving me an evil leer, instead of apologizing, I somehow blurted out, "Pikachu!" imitating its voice. I ultimately got slapped on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 816

Impressive

By Gizu - 15/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to open a door with a dramatic kick, like in the movies. The door didn’t budge, but my shoe flew off and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75

You deserved it 631

Content brainrot

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 18:00 - Russia - Barnaul

Today, I was going to the cinema when a motorcyclist was hit at an intersection. I wanted to find out how he was, but I couldn't get through the crowd with their phones out. Fuck, people, what's wrong with you? You're going to die like this, and they're just going to film you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 112

Higher standards of living

By gross? - 14/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 83

All set

By Anonymous - 14/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I was finishing up at the gym and packed my bag to come home. I set my phone on top of it for a second as I knelt down to tie my shoes. Less than a minute later, I grabbed my bag to walk out, forgetting that it was on top. It tumbled to the ground and smashed. Guess I need a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 361

Dying inside

By Deedee - 13/01/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I confidently walked into a coffee shop, ordered a cappuccino, and went to sit down. On my way over to read my book at a table, I knocked over a stack of chairs by tripping on a rug. The worst part? I had to sit there, sipping my drink, and reading the same sentence over and over again, while everyone watched me slowly die inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 168

Experience

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 166

You deserved it 3 151

Good intentions

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 00:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly by bringing my own reusable coffee cup to the café. As I handed it over, the barista said, "Sorry, we can’t use that. It’s company policy." Guess who just looked like an overzealous hipster… FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 411

Bad hair day

By Alma - 12/01/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 187

Lost in music

By Anonymous - 12/01/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I had my earbuds in while walking to work. I was so into a particular song that I didn't notice I was singing out loud despite people being around. A random jogger gave me a thumbs-up and said, "Shit voice, wrong lyrics." FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 490

Sketchy

By Notadrinkanddriveidiot - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the backseat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 776

You deserved it 47 658

Our pride and joy

By trgtyo - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 029

You deserved it 3 729

Tennis

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, I got home from school after having been in a fight. I looked to my father and asked him for advice; he said, "Go see your mother." I go to see my mother, and she says, "Go see your father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 97

Bathtime

By LemmyIsWet - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a relaxing bath, but got the book I was reading slightly wet when getting out. I put it on top of the towel dryer after delicately shaking it. Five minutes later, I heard a splash; I went into the bathroom to find that my book had toppled into the toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 961

You deserved it 27 940

Slasher

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Sylvania

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 358

You deserved it 6 037

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 433

Is that even legal?

By lilypanda333 - 08/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I had a really good day out just to come home right before the electricity company closed for the day, to find out my payment hadn’t gone through and they'd turned it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 146

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 622

Floundering off

By Awkward Nelson - 07/01/2025 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit from a party after an argument by dramatically throwing my coat over my shoulder and storming out. The coat got caught on the door handle, and I had to awkwardly untangle myself while everyone stared. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 595

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 97

Same

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I’m just living. Nothing I want matters. Just the same repetitive thing day after day. What must I do for things to change? FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 184

HELP!

By anon - 07/01/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 155

Does not spark joy

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I was super proud of myself for organizing my entire wardrobe. As I went to admire my work, I pulled out a sweater and knocked over the entire shelf of shoes. Now everything's on the floor and I can’t find my favourite pair of socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 158

Watch your step

By Gary - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking next to this building that was getting renovated, and read a sign that said "Watch out for falling debris at all times." While I was watching out for debris, I fell down a staircase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 998

You deserved it 10 561

Handle with care

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 457

How've you been?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I mistook a random stranger in the grocery store for my friend and started complaining about how annoying my coworkers are at the moment. The stranger just nodded, concerned, and slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 560

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 660

You deserved it 32 085

Today, I have been in my "office" for 6 weeks. It is literally a closet. I was reminded of this fact when a janitor walked in without knocking, carrying empty boxes he intended to store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 394

You deserved it 910

Today, I realized it's been over a month since my last therapy session. My therapist canceled on me and never got back in touch to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 227

Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 107

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 778

You deserved it 3 744

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 179